THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY:
1. Engagement or Mangni: Does not qualify the future spouses to go out together, even if the parents consent. Man and woman become permissible for each other only after the performance of Nikah.
2. Dowry: The unislamic system of demanding and accepting dowry must be avoided at all costs. Shariah does not make any expense incumbent on the bride/bride's parents. Even the marriage expenses, it is recommended to be borne by the bridegroom. However, the bride can bring whatever she wants of her free will, and it will always belong to her.
3. Other Unislamic Customs: Many other unislamic customs have crept into the marriage ceremony of some Muslims. These customs are either borrowed from non-Muslim cultures or continue because they are established in past generations. One must avoid them if they are against the Shariah, even if some people are displeased. Other customs like the breaking of coconut etc. also do not feature among the Islamic rituals. All actions, customs etc., which show disrespect to Islam or weaken the importance of Islam, have to be avoided.
4. Haraam Acts: Some of the rituals in marriage ceremonies are absolutely Haraam like the playing of music. It is also Haraam for ladies to go for mixed gatherings without proper Hijab. Such things invite divine wrath and take away the blessings of this auspicious occasion. In the Islamic Law, marriage is an Aqd, a contract. The components of this contract are as follows:
A. Proposal: In Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand in marriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considers this natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignity for women.
B. Mahr: And the intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride. Holy Quran says, And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result. (Surah Nisa 4:4)
The following points are worthy of consideration:
a) Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves, not by parents.
b) Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.
c) It is a free gift and not her price.
The Mahr may be cash, kind or non-material (like training or teaching something). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to pay upon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage. Moajjal (immediate), Muwajjal and Indat-talab (on demand). However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time of Nikah itself.
C. The Nikah Ceremony: According to Shariah, the wife-to-be says, 'An Kah'tu nafsaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom'. ("I have given away myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr.")
Immediately, the man (bridegroom) says, 'Qabiltun Nikaha'. ("I have accepted the Nikah.")
With these pronouncements, they become husband and wife.
If the marrying partners are not able to recite the formula in Arabic, one or two persons or priests are appointed and authorized to officiate. One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent to officiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of the groom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements, because the persons reciting them are appointees. A person who represents the bride would initiate by saying, "Ankah'tu muwakkilati muwakkilaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom." ("I give away in Nikah the woman who has thus appointed and authorized me, to the man who has authorized you, on an agreed Mahr.")
The groom's representative would respond, "Qabiltunnikaaha limuwakkili a'lal mah'ril ma'loom." ("I accept the Nikah on behalf of the one who has appointed me, on the agreed Mahr.")
It is mustahab to recite a brief discourse or Khutba before the Nikah formula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for His Wisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditions from Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) are also recited.
D. Time of Marriage Ceremony: Though basically marriage is allowed at all times, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons.
Generally, we can categorize these days into three: (a) There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. (b) There are certain days of the Islamic calendar, which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of Holy Prophet Muhammad's (s.a.w.) death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such days.
Shia Ithna Ashari (Twelver Shias), especially in India and Pakistan, rarely perform marriage ceremony between the 1st of Muharram and the 8th of Rabi al-Awwal as this period includes the mourning days of Muharram culminating in the martyrdom of Imam Askari (a.s.). The 9th Rabi al-Awwal is celebrated as Eid-e-Zahra.
If there is a need, however, Nikah, can be performed at any time.
E. Permission of the Bride-to-be/Father: The girl's consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative, directly.
In case of a virgin/spinster the father's or the grandfather's permission is also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheld under some conditions or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather it is not necessary. However, a woman who is not a virgin, does not require any permission in case of remarriage.
F. Valima (Dinner): Valima is highly recommended on the groom. The relatives, neighbors and friends must be invited for Valima. However, lavish spending is not advisable especially when the same money can be used effectively by the couple.
Monday 14 March 2011
SELECTION OF SPOUSE:
SELECTION OF SPOUSE:
Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded to marriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, "How do we select a spouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view?"
Are Pre-Marital contacts Necessary?
Ali Akber Mazaheri writes: "The notion that a man and a woman must 'know' each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies, which practice it, would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily."
The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as Gheebat under certain conditions). We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process. Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage.
The school of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness.
A. Religiousness: The author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, "The person who does not have religion, does not have anything."
When a man came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse. He (s.a.w.) said, "It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse."
Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has forewarned, "A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness)."
B. Good nature: Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if it was advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature, "If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don't marry your daughter to him." The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such a woman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life of her husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties that arise in married life.
C. Compatibility: Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivings later. It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.
A man questioned Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), "Whom must we marry?"
He replied, "The suitable (matches)."
"Who are the suitable matches?"
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) responded, "Some of the faithful are match for others."
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, "An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man."
D. Decent Family: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has given great emphasis on taking into consideration a good family background when we intend to marry.
He said, "Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and the genes have effect."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Look very carefully and minutely as to where you are placing your child because genes and hereditary qualities are transferred in a concealed and unintentional way and have their effect."
E. Reason: The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s.) strongly forbade marrying a foolish and insane person. "Avoid marrying a stupid woman, since her company is a woe (distress) and her children too get wasted."
F. Physical and Mental Health: Though religiousness and piety are most important, it does not mean that we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospective spouse.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women)."
G. Whom can you marry? "Islamic law has placed certain restrictions on the choice of your spouse depending upon blood relationships and religious affiliations." Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi has summarized these laws in a beautiful way:
(a) Restrictions based on Relationship
There are certain blood relations, which are considered Haraam for you as far as marriage is concerned. (As a general rule, anyone who is your Mahram is forbidden to you for marriage.) The list of such relatives is given in the Holy Qur'an as follows:
For Man: mother, daughter, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, niece, foster-mother, foster-sister, mother-in-law, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, all married women, sister-in-law (as a 2nd wife) (See Holy Qur'an, ch. 4, verse 23-24)
For Woman: father, son, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, nephew, foster-mother's husband, foster-brother, father-in-law, stepson, son-in-law.
(b) Restrictions based on Religion
A Shi'ah Muslim man can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman and a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. However, if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam.
He can also marry a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. But he cannot marry a woman of any other faith.
A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.
(c) Cousin Marriages
Though Shariah does not forbid marriage between first cousins, but there are opinions advocating against them mainly due to a probable risk of the offspring inheriting genetic defects/diseases.
Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded to marriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, "How do we select a spouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view?"
Are Pre-Marital contacts Necessary?
Ali Akber Mazaheri writes: "The notion that a man and a woman must 'know' each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies, which practice it, would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily."
The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as Gheebat under certain conditions). We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process. Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage.
The school of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness.
A. Religiousness: The author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, "The person who does not have religion, does not have anything."
When a man came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse. He (s.a.w.) said, "It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse."
Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has forewarned, "A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness)."
B. Good nature: Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if it was advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature, "If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don't marry your daughter to him." The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such a woman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life of her husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties that arise in married life.
C. Compatibility: Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivings later. It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.
A man questioned Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), "Whom must we marry?"
He replied, "The suitable (matches)."
"Who are the suitable matches?"
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) responded, "Some of the faithful are match for others."
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, "An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man."
D. Decent Family: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has given great emphasis on taking into consideration a good family background when we intend to marry.
He said, "Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and the genes have effect."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Look very carefully and minutely as to where you are placing your child because genes and hereditary qualities are transferred in a concealed and unintentional way and have their effect."
E. Reason: The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s.) strongly forbade marrying a foolish and insane person. "Avoid marrying a stupid woman, since her company is a woe (distress) and her children too get wasted."
F. Physical and Mental Health: Though religiousness and piety are most important, it does not mean that we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospective spouse.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women)."
G. Whom can you marry? "Islamic law has placed certain restrictions on the choice of your spouse depending upon blood relationships and religious affiliations." Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi has summarized these laws in a beautiful way:
(a) Restrictions based on Relationship
There are certain blood relations, which are considered Haraam for you as far as marriage is concerned. (As a general rule, anyone who is your Mahram is forbidden to you for marriage.) The list of such relatives is given in the Holy Qur'an as follows:
For Man: mother, daughter, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, niece, foster-mother, foster-sister, mother-in-law, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, all married women, sister-in-law (as a 2nd wife) (See Holy Qur'an, ch. 4, verse 23-24)
For Woman: father, son, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, nephew, foster-mother's husband, foster-brother, father-in-law, stepson, son-in-law.
(b) Restrictions based on Religion
A Shi'ah Muslim man can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman and a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. However, if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam.
He can also marry a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. But he cannot marry a woman of any other faith.
A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.
(c) Cousin Marriages
Though Shariah does not forbid marriage between first cousins, but there are opinions advocating against them mainly due to a probable risk of the offspring inheriting genetic defects/diseases.
WHEN MUST WE MARRY?
WHEN MUST WE MARRY?
The proper time and age of marrying is when the individual reaches sexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity may mean the capability of establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights of family members.
The need of a spouse and family is a natural and instinctive need, which Allah (SWT) through His Wisdom has placed in human beings and is awakened at its particular time and season, and makes its demand. If it is answered on time and its requirement fulfilled, it traverses its natural course and makes the person perfect. If it is delayed or answered in an incorrect and unnatural mode, it deviates from its natural course, and in surges and rebels, and not only becomes corrupt itself, but also corrupts the man.
Who is eligible to marry?
For man to become eligible for taking a woman's hand in marriage, Islam has several recommendations. According to Islamic laws, when a boy attains the age of fifteen, or becomes sexually potent, he is Baligh, and has attained puberty. But this is not enough for entering into a contract of marriage (Nikaah).
Apart from the laws related to puberty, there is a concept of Rushd which can be translated as 'capability of a sensible conduct' or maturity. A husband has to be Rashid and a wife Rashidah; so that the responsibilities of married life are sensibly discharged. Books of Islamic law may be referred for exact details on physical and mental maturity.
Recommendation for Early Marriage (Nikah).
Islam highly recommends an early marriage. Even those who feel they would not be able to bear the expenses of family are urged to repose faith in Allah, as He is the Giver of Sustenance (Rizq), and go for an early marriage.
The proper time and age of marrying is when the individual reaches sexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity may mean the capability of establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights of family members.
The need of a spouse and family is a natural and instinctive need, which Allah (SWT) through His Wisdom has placed in human beings and is awakened at its particular time and season, and makes its demand. If it is answered on time and its requirement fulfilled, it traverses its natural course and makes the person perfect. If it is delayed or answered in an incorrect and unnatural mode, it deviates from its natural course, and in surges and rebels, and not only becomes corrupt itself, but also corrupts the man.
Who is eligible to marry?
For man to become eligible for taking a woman's hand in marriage, Islam has several recommendations. According to Islamic laws, when a boy attains the age of fifteen, or becomes sexually potent, he is Baligh, and has attained puberty. But this is not enough for entering into a contract of marriage (Nikaah).
Apart from the laws related to puberty, there is a concept of Rushd which can be translated as 'capability of a sensible conduct' or maturity. A husband has to be Rashid and a wife Rashidah; so that the responsibilities of married life are sensibly discharged. Books of Islamic law may be referred for exact details on physical and mental maturity.
Recommendation for Early Marriage (Nikah).
Islam highly recommends an early marriage. Even those who feel they would not be able to bear the expenses of family are urged to repose faith in Allah, as He is the Giver of Sustenance (Rizq), and go for an early marriage.
02. IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:
02. IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:
Holy Quran says: And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Surah Nur 24:32)
The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry ...) The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."
On another occasion Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors."
Imam Ali (a.s.) exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."
A. Importance of sex in marriage.
In Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term for marriage, "Nikah" literally means sexual intercourse. So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regarding sex? This was because Islam has fully understood that sexual instincts cannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for the well being of human beings in this life and for their success in the hereafter.
Sex in married life has been openly recommended in Holy Qur'an, "When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (Surah Baqarah 2:222)
B. Fulfillment of Sexual Urge.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."
Imam Reza (a.s.) said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visiting one's wife."
C. Celibacy and Monasticism is Forbidden.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). One day his wife came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and complained, "O Messenger of God! Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during the night as well as the day. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) was angered. He did not even wait to put on his slippers. He went to Uthman's house and found him praying. When Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), he said, "O Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions."
D. Beneficial Effects of a Married Life.
Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.
Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half." How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.
E. Marriage (Nikaah) enhances the value of prayers.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." A woman came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse, which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins."
F. Marriage (Nikah) increases Sustenance.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) remarked, "Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah (SWT) makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values)."
Holy Quran says: And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Surah Nur 24:32)
The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry ...) The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."
On another occasion Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors."
Imam Ali (a.s.) exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."
A. Importance of sex in marriage.
In Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term for marriage, "Nikah" literally means sexual intercourse. So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regarding sex? This was because Islam has fully understood that sexual instincts cannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for the well being of human beings in this life and for their success in the hereafter.
Sex in married life has been openly recommended in Holy Qur'an, "When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (Surah Baqarah 2:222)
B. Fulfillment of Sexual Urge.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."
Imam Reza (a.s.) said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visiting one's wife."
C. Celibacy and Monasticism is Forbidden.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). One day his wife came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and complained, "O Messenger of God! Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during the night as well as the day. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) was angered. He did not even wait to put on his slippers. He went to Uthman's house and found him praying. When Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), he said, "O Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions."
D. Beneficial Effects of a Married Life.
Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.
Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half." How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.
E. Marriage (Nikaah) enhances the value of prayers.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." A woman came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse, which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins."
F. Marriage (Nikah) increases Sustenance.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) remarked, "Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah (SWT) makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values)."
Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide
Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) says: When a person intends to send a proposal for marriage, he must pray two Rakat prayers, praise Allah (SWT) and recite the following invocation:
Transliteration: Bismillah hir Rah'maanir Rah'eem.
Allaahumma inni oreedo an atazawwaja faqaddirli minannisaa-e- a-'affahunna farjawn wa ah'faz'ahunna li fi nafseha wa maali wa aw sa-a'-hunna li rizqan wa a'-z'amahunna li barakatan fi nafseha wa maali anna atroko faqaddirli minha waladan t'ayyaban taj-a'lahu khalafan s'aaleh'an fi h'ayaati wa ba'da mauti.
Translation: In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful.
O Allah! I intend to marry. Therefore destine for me the most chaste of women and one who would, for my sake, guard herself and my property. Who shall be most auspicious for increase in sustenance and bounties. Then from her womb bestow a pure son who would be my sweet reminiscence in my life and after my death.
01. INTRODUCTION:
A. Who needs this book?
This book is compiled for those intending to marry in the near future or the newly married people. In this short Nikaah Handbook we have tried to put things in a nutshell. It is recommended to do a detailed reading of other books on Marriage, references of which are given at the end of this Nikah Handbook.
B. Why do we need to know the rules?
It is the duty of every Muslim to follow the Islamic laws not only in matters of prayers and fasting but also in all his actions. Islam has well defined rules about marriage and sex too. So if you want to follow Islam fully, then you must know the Islamic rules and regulations governing married life. Islam has never repressed the natural feelings of human beings but provides rules, which are divine.
This will not only enable you to be faithful to your religion but would also shield you from the barrage of Sex literature that portrays this natural instinct as one that must be left uncontrolled. Western sexual morality permits many things that are prohibited in Islam. The reason for the prohibition of certain actions is not to act as an infringement of an individual's freedom but because Islam is concerned not only with your physical well being but also your spiritual enhancement. Moreover, we can see the degradation of society where absolute sexual freedom prevails.
C. Main Objective of the Nikah Handbook.
The commencement of a new life takes place through marriage. If Islamic rules are known and followed, the child born will be chaste. Insha Allah, our progeny can then be capable of being the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his holy Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) followers.
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) says: When a person intends to send a proposal for marriage, he must pray two Rakat prayers, praise Allah (SWT) and recite the following invocation:
Transliteration: Bismillah hir Rah'maanir Rah'eem.
Allaahumma inni oreedo an atazawwaja faqaddirli minannisaa-e- a-'affahunna farjawn wa ah'faz'ahunna li fi nafseha wa maali wa aw sa-a'-hunna li rizqan wa a'-z'amahunna li barakatan fi nafseha wa maali anna atroko faqaddirli minha waladan t'ayyaban taj-a'lahu khalafan s'aaleh'an fi h'ayaati wa ba'da mauti.
Translation: In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful.
O Allah! I intend to marry. Therefore destine for me the most chaste of women and one who would, for my sake, guard herself and my property. Who shall be most auspicious for increase in sustenance and bounties. Then from her womb bestow a pure son who would be my sweet reminiscence in my life and after my death.
01. INTRODUCTION:
A. Who needs this book?
This book is compiled for those intending to marry in the near future or the newly married people. In this short Nikaah Handbook we have tried to put things in a nutshell. It is recommended to do a detailed reading of other books on Marriage, references of which are given at the end of this Nikah Handbook.
B. Why do we need to know the rules?
It is the duty of every Muslim to follow the Islamic laws not only in matters of prayers and fasting but also in all his actions. Islam has well defined rules about marriage and sex too. So if you want to follow Islam fully, then you must know the Islamic rules and regulations governing married life. Islam has never repressed the natural feelings of human beings but provides rules, which are divine.
This will not only enable you to be faithful to your religion but would also shield you from the barrage of Sex literature that portrays this natural instinct as one that must be left uncontrolled. Western sexual morality permits many things that are prohibited in Islam. The reason for the prohibition of certain actions is not to act as an infringement of an individual's freedom but because Islam is concerned not only with your physical well being but also your spiritual enhancement. Moreover, we can see the degradation of society where absolute sexual freedom prevails.
C. Main Objective of the Nikah Handbook.
The commencement of a new life takes place through marriage. If Islamic rules are known and followed, the child born will be chaste. Insha Allah, our progeny can then be capable of being the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his holy Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) followers.
Philosophy of marriages of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), Muslim Marriage
Philosophy of marriages of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), Muslim Marriage
In the early part of eighteenth century, the Christian writers started with new tactics of attacking Islam. They aimed, through publications full of lies and slanders, at diverting attention from the noble framework of Islam and degrading the exalted person of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (May peace be on him and his progeny).
The basis of that adverse propaganda was the books written by Christian writers of the fifteenth century. A writer had written a book under the title 'Refutation to the Religion of Muhammad', which became the source of later writers against Islam. These writers were unacquainted with the real facts about Islam, due to their ignorance of the Arabic language in which Islamic history and holy books were then available.
It is not strange, therefore, to see them writing against the Prophet of Islam, accusing him of lust because he had married a number of wives, whilst other Muslims were restricted to a maximum of four at a time. (They perhaps forgot that the writers of the present Bible have openly accused their own Prophets of having committed adultery!)
Of course, by misinforming their Christian brothers, and slandering the Prophet of Islam, they hoped to cause a set-back in the fast progress of Islam. But these tactics did not succeed much. We find a number of learned and fair-minded Christian writers defending the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) against such slanders, in apologetic language.
Undoubtedly these stories of slanders are totally unacceptable to the Muslims, since part of their faith is to believe in the infallibility (Ismat or Sinless ness) of the Prophets.
But at the same time it is imperative to acquaint the non-Muslims with the true facts.
Verdict of history:
Unbiased historians, both Muslims and Christians, are agreed that the number of marriages contracted by the Prophet of Islam was not as a result of lust or to satisfy the sexual desires. If this had been the case, he would not have married the twice-widowed Khadijah, 40 years old, at the youthful age of 25 when one is full of emotion and sexual urge.
Prophet Mubammad (s.a.w.) lived together with his first (and, at that time, only) wife, Khadijah, happily for 26 years with great mutual affection, despite the fact that young and beautiful girls of Arabia were easily available to him and were keen to be married to the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Not even once, during that period, did the Prophet Muhammad (saw) take another wife. Undoubtedly he would have at least considered another younger wife simultaneously with Khadijah if he ever suffered from lust and fondness of young women, particularly when the country's customs wholly approved unlimited marriages.
Critics Dumbfounded:
Let us look at the life history of the Prophet of Islam. During the prime of his life, he remains satisfied with an aged and twice-widowed wife, and does not even think of another. Then during the last ten years of his life, after passing the age of fifty, in his old age, when he is surrounded by various difficult problems of the newly-born Islamic State, he starts marrying a number of wives.
Ask these Christian writers why this phenomenon?
What logical answer can these critics give to this amazing question?
Was it not a difficult exercise and heavy burden to marry widows and support their orphans? Was it easy for a perfectly dignified man in the person of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to marry women of different outlook, characters and tribes, including some of much younger age who were still unaware of the full responsibilities of life?
Let us ponder over the reply to these questions as given by a famous western historian, Thomas Carlyle in his book "Heroes and Heroes Worship". He says in effect that contrary to what his enemies accuse him, Muhammad was never lusty and sexualize and that it was a slander only out of prejudice against him and this indeed is a great injustice.
John Devenport says, "and it may then be asked, is it likely that a very sensual man, of a country where polygamy was a common practice, should be contented for five-and-twenty years with one wife, she being fifteen years older than himself".
List of wives of the prophet of Islam:
After the death of his first wife, Khadijah, he married upto twelve wives in the following order:
Sawdah
A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq (first Caliph)
Umm Salamah
Hafsah bint Omer Farooq (second Caliph)
Zaynab bint-Khuzaymah
Zaynab bint-Jahsh
Umm-Habibah (Ramla) bint Abu Sufyan
Maymunah
Zaynab bint-Umais
Juwayriyah
Safiyah
Khawlah bint-Hakim
Let us examine the circumstances and conditions under which these marriages had taken place.
In principle, it can be stated that the marriages were contracted with one or more of the following objectives:
(1) For the sake of caring for the orphans and looking after the poor widows. These were some Muslim women who had earlier enjoyed high dignity in the Arab society. But on the death of their husbands, their status and even faith were in jeopardy, because their tribal chiefs would take them back and compel them to renounce Islam, thus converting them back to polytheism.
For example, Sawdah had migrated to Abyssinia where her husband died, and she became absolutely without helper. It was the time when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had lost Khadijah, his first wife; so he married Sawdah.
Likewise, Zaynab daughter of Khuzaymah, was an old-aged widow, who after the death of her husband was inflicted with poverty, despite her being amiable and being known as 'Ummul-Masakin' (Mother of the poor). Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to uphold her dignity and she died of old age only after two years of that marriage.
(2) For the sake of enacting a new law and eradicating injustice by the ignorant tribes. For example, Zaynab bint-Jahsh was the daughter of the Prophet's aunt. She was married, at the recommendation of the Prophet, to Zayd ibn-Harithah, the freed slave and adopted son of the Prophet. This marriage was contracted to eradicate the discrimination against slaves and poor and to emphasize the Islamic equality and brotherhood, as Zaynab was from the family of Abd al-Muttalib, the grandfather of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and the Chief of Quraysh, whereas Zayd was a slave who was freed by the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Unfortunately, Zaynab due to her family pride, did not get along well with Zayd despite Prophet's persuasions. The rift between the two culminated into divorce. Meanwhile, the system of adoption of children was expressly forbidden by Allah (SWT). So, when Zayd divorced Zaynab, the Prophet of Islam, at the express command of God, married Zaynab; and, thus, put an end to the then prevalent belief that adopted sons were like real sons and that wives or widows of adopted sons were like daughters-in-laws.
(3) For the sake of freeing prisoners and slaves. For example, 'Juwayriyah' was from a prominent tribe of Banul-Mustalaq. In a war against Islam this tribe was defeated; and Juwayriyah, the daughter of their Chief, was held in captivity. Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to set an example of protection and good treatment to prisoners of war.
On seeing that the prisoners had become relatives of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) by marriage, the Muslims released all the prisoners of war held by them. According to Ibne Hisham, over one hundred families of Banul-Mustalaq were freed from captivity as a result of this marriage.
(4) For the sake of uniting some prominent Arab tribes who often were at logger heads with each other and to safeguard the internal political status of Islam.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) married A'ishah daughter of Abu Bakr Siddiq (first caliph) from the tribe of Bani Tim, Hafsah daughter of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (second caliph) from the tribe of Adi, Umm-Habibah daughter of Abu Sufyan from the tribe of Umayyah, Safiyah daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab of the Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir, and Maymunah from the tribe of Bani Makhzum.
Umm-Habibah (i.e. Ramla) was daughter of Abu Sufyan of Bani Umayyah who was the bitterest enemy of Prophet Muhammad (saw) and had repeatedly fought against him. She, as a Muslim, was in great distress since she was divorced from her original husband (who had become a Christian in Abyssinia) and her father was a great enemy of Islam.
Seeing her deprived of every help from parent and divorced from husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in sympathy. This marriage also gave a chance to the people of Bani Umayyah to soften their hearts for Islam.
Safiyah was widowed daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab, one of the chiefs of Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir. When the prisoners of this tribe were released by the Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in order to safeguard her status; and, thus, also linking himself with one of the great Jewish tribes of that time, and paving the way for them to come nearer to Islam.
Maymunah was 51 years of age and from a prominent tribe of Bani Makhzum whom Prophet Muhammad (saw) married in the year 7 after Hijrah.
The above marital history of Prophet Muhammad (saw) clearly shows the noble aim and objectives for which he married a number of wives. It is not difficult to see that none of these marriages was for personal satisfaction of sexual desires as unjustifiably accused by the Christian writers. Also, it is important to remember that all of these marriages, except that with A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq, were contracted with women who were widowed not only once, but often twice or thrice.
In the early part of eighteenth century, the Christian writers started with new tactics of attacking Islam. They aimed, through publications full of lies and slanders, at diverting attention from the noble framework of Islam and degrading the exalted person of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (May peace be on him and his progeny).
The basis of that adverse propaganda was the books written by Christian writers of the fifteenth century. A writer had written a book under the title 'Refutation to the Religion of Muhammad', which became the source of later writers against Islam. These writers were unacquainted with the real facts about Islam, due to their ignorance of the Arabic language in which Islamic history and holy books were then available.
It is not strange, therefore, to see them writing against the Prophet of Islam, accusing him of lust because he had married a number of wives, whilst other Muslims were restricted to a maximum of four at a time. (They perhaps forgot that the writers of the present Bible have openly accused their own Prophets of having committed adultery!)
Of course, by misinforming their Christian brothers, and slandering the Prophet of Islam, they hoped to cause a set-back in the fast progress of Islam. But these tactics did not succeed much. We find a number of learned and fair-minded Christian writers defending the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) against such slanders, in apologetic language.
Undoubtedly these stories of slanders are totally unacceptable to the Muslims, since part of their faith is to believe in the infallibility (Ismat or Sinless ness) of the Prophets.
But at the same time it is imperative to acquaint the non-Muslims with the true facts.
Verdict of history:
Unbiased historians, both Muslims and Christians, are agreed that the number of marriages contracted by the Prophet of Islam was not as a result of lust or to satisfy the sexual desires. If this had been the case, he would not have married the twice-widowed Khadijah, 40 years old, at the youthful age of 25 when one is full of emotion and sexual urge.
Prophet Mubammad (s.a.w.) lived together with his first (and, at that time, only) wife, Khadijah, happily for 26 years with great mutual affection, despite the fact that young and beautiful girls of Arabia were easily available to him and were keen to be married to the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Not even once, during that period, did the Prophet Muhammad (saw) take another wife. Undoubtedly he would have at least considered another younger wife simultaneously with Khadijah if he ever suffered from lust and fondness of young women, particularly when the country's customs wholly approved unlimited marriages.
Critics Dumbfounded:
Let us look at the life history of the Prophet of Islam. During the prime of his life, he remains satisfied with an aged and twice-widowed wife, and does not even think of another. Then during the last ten years of his life, after passing the age of fifty, in his old age, when he is surrounded by various difficult problems of the newly-born Islamic State, he starts marrying a number of wives.
Ask these Christian writers why this phenomenon?
What logical answer can these critics give to this amazing question?
Was it not a difficult exercise and heavy burden to marry widows and support their orphans? Was it easy for a perfectly dignified man in the person of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to marry women of different outlook, characters and tribes, including some of much younger age who were still unaware of the full responsibilities of life?
Let us ponder over the reply to these questions as given by a famous western historian, Thomas Carlyle in his book "Heroes and Heroes Worship". He says in effect that contrary to what his enemies accuse him, Muhammad was never lusty and sexualize and that it was a slander only out of prejudice against him and this indeed is a great injustice.
John Devenport says, "and it may then be asked, is it likely that a very sensual man, of a country where polygamy was a common practice, should be contented for five-and-twenty years with one wife, she being fifteen years older than himself".
List of wives of the prophet of Islam:
After the death of his first wife, Khadijah, he married upto twelve wives in the following order:
Sawdah
A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq (first Caliph)
Umm Salamah
Hafsah bint Omer Farooq (second Caliph)
Zaynab bint-Khuzaymah
Zaynab bint-Jahsh
Umm-Habibah (Ramla) bint Abu Sufyan
Maymunah
Zaynab bint-Umais
Juwayriyah
Safiyah
Khawlah bint-Hakim
Let us examine the circumstances and conditions under which these marriages had taken place.
In principle, it can be stated that the marriages were contracted with one or more of the following objectives:
(1) For the sake of caring for the orphans and looking after the poor widows. These were some Muslim women who had earlier enjoyed high dignity in the Arab society. But on the death of their husbands, their status and even faith were in jeopardy, because their tribal chiefs would take them back and compel them to renounce Islam, thus converting them back to polytheism.
For example, Sawdah had migrated to Abyssinia where her husband died, and she became absolutely without helper. It was the time when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had lost Khadijah, his first wife; so he married Sawdah.
Likewise, Zaynab daughter of Khuzaymah, was an old-aged widow, who after the death of her husband was inflicted with poverty, despite her being amiable and being known as 'Ummul-Masakin' (Mother of the poor). Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to uphold her dignity and she died of old age only after two years of that marriage.
(2) For the sake of enacting a new law and eradicating injustice by the ignorant tribes. For example, Zaynab bint-Jahsh was the daughter of the Prophet's aunt. She was married, at the recommendation of the Prophet, to Zayd ibn-Harithah, the freed slave and adopted son of the Prophet. This marriage was contracted to eradicate the discrimination against slaves and poor and to emphasize the Islamic equality and brotherhood, as Zaynab was from the family of Abd al-Muttalib, the grandfather of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and the Chief of Quraysh, whereas Zayd was a slave who was freed by the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Unfortunately, Zaynab due to her family pride, did not get along well with Zayd despite Prophet's persuasions. The rift between the two culminated into divorce. Meanwhile, the system of adoption of children was expressly forbidden by Allah (SWT). So, when Zayd divorced Zaynab, the Prophet of Islam, at the express command of God, married Zaynab; and, thus, put an end to the then prevalent belief that adopted sons were like real sons and that wives or widows of adopted sons were like daughters-in-laws.
(3) For the sake of freeing prisoners and slaves. For example, 'Juwayriyah' was from a prominent tribe of Banul-Mustalaq. In a war against Islam this tribe was defeated; and Juwayriyah, the daughter of their Chief, was held in captivity. Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to set an example of protection and good treatment to prisoners of war.
On seeing that the prisoners had become relatives of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) by marriage, the Muslims released all the prisoners of war held by them. According to Ibne Hisham, over one hundred families of Banul-Mustalaq were freed from captivity as a result of this marriage.
(4) For the sake of uniting some prominent Arab tribes who often were at logger heads with each other and to safeguard the internal political status of Islam.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) married A'ishah daughter of Abu Bakr Siddiq (first caliph) from the tribe of Bani Tim, Hafsah daughter of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (second caliph) from the tribe of Adi, Umm-Habibah daughter of Abu Sufyan from the tribe of Umayyah, Safiyah daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab of the Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir, and Maymunah from the tribe of Bani Makhzum.
Umm-Habibah (i.e. Ramla) was daughter of Abu Sufyan of Bani Umayyah who was the bitterest enemy of Prophet Muhammad (saw) and had repeatedly fought against him. She, as a Muslim, was in great distress since she was divorced from her original husband (who had become a Christian in Abyssinia) and her father was a great enemy of Islam.
Seeing her deprived of every help from parent and divorced from husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in sympathy. This marriage also gave a chance to the people of Bani Umayyah to soften their hearts for Islam.
Safiyah was widowed daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab, one of the chiefs of Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir. When the prisoners of this tribe were released by the Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in order to safeguard her status; and, thus, also linking himself with one of the great Jewish tribes of that time, and paving the way for them to come nearer to Islam.
Maymunah was 51 years of age and from a prominent tribe of Bani Makhzum whom Prophet Muhammad (saw) married in the year 7 after Hijrah.
The above marital history of Prophet Muhammad (saw) clearly shows the noble aim and objectives for which he married a number of wives. It is not difficult to see that none of these marriages was for personal satisfaction of sexual desires as unjustifiably accused by the Christian writers. Also, it is important to remember that all of these marriages, except that with A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq, were contracted with women who were widowed not only once, but often twice or thrice.
PROPERTIES OF THE BEST WOMEN:
PROPERTIES OF THE BEST WOMEN:
She is content: Such woman is the best one who becomes happy and content when her husband puts a loving glance on her, and when he orders her for something right, she obeys him immediately, and never does any thing against his will. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is a great cook and a good administrator: A woman who cooks neat, clean and delicious food for her husband. Allah has provided great food for such nice wife in paradise. In heaven, she will be asked to drink and eat whatever you wish, as this is the reward for the pain and services which you performed for your husband! - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
The best woman among your women is one who cooks delicious food, spends the money justly and does not waste it. Such women are the workers of Allah, and the workers of Allah never get hopeless and regretful! - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is priceless: A woman doesn't have any price, whether she is good or bad. A good and nice lady can not be measured with money or gold or silver, as she is far more expensive and precious than money or gold. Similarly, a woman with bad character and worst nature can not be compared with sand, as sand is far more higher and good than her. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is loving, caring and patient: Do not you want me to tell you about those ladies who will enter paradise? A woman who is loving and caring to her husband, and gives births to his children and when he gets angry with her, she instantly says My hand is in your hand like she does not get satisfied until her husband becomes happy with her. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is obedient: Lucky and fortunate woman is one who respects her husband and does not give him any pain, hurt or discomfort and does not makes him worried and obeys him in all the right aspects of life. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She does Jehaad: The Jehaad of woman is that she must not lose her patience if she gets hurt from her husband. Her patience is her Jehaad. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is content: Such woman is the best one who becomes happy and content when her husband puts a loving glance on her, and when he orders her for something right, she obeys him immediately, and never does any thing against his will. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is a great cook and a good administrator: A woman who cooks neat, clean and delicious food for her husband. Allah has provided great food for such nice wife in paradise. In heaven, she will be asked to drink and eat whatever you wish, as this is the reward for the pain and services which you performed for your husband! - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
The best woman among your women is one who cooks delicious food, spends the money justly and does not waste it. Such women are the workers of Allah, and the workers of Allah never get hopeless and regretful! - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is priceless: A woman doesn't have any price, whether she is good or bad. A good and nice lady can not be measured with money or gold or silver, as she is far more expensive and precious than money or gold. Similarly, a woman with bad character and worst nature can not be compared with sand, as sand is far more higher and good than her. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is loving, caring and patient: Do not you want me to tell you about those ladies who will enter paradise? A woman who is loving and caring to her husband, and gives births to his children and when he gets angry with her, she instantly says My hand is in your hand like she does not get satisfied until her husband becomes happy with her. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is obedient: Lucky and fortunate woman is one who respects her husband and does not give him any pain, hurt or discomfort and does not makes him worried and obeys him in all the right aspects of life. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She does Jehaad: The Jehaad of woman is that she must not lose her patience if she gets hurt from her husband. Her patience is her Jehaad. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
FATIMA (THE DAUGHTER OF THE PROPHET):
FATIMA (THE DAUGHTER OF THE PROPHET):
Jab Kabhi Ghairat-e-Insaan Ka Sawaal Aata Hai
Bint-e-Zehra Terey Pardey Ka Khayaal Aata Hai
Fatima bint Muhammad is one of the four noblest women in Islamic teachings. This is not just because she is the daughter of the Prophet of Islam or the wife of Imam Ali or the mother of Hasan and Hussain. These relationships are significant in themselves, but Fatima is important to the Muslims in her own right.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is seen as the perfect model of the values and teachings that were revealed in the holy Qur'an. He was the Last Prophet and the Qur'an was the Final Revelation: no prophet or scripture is to be sent after him. However, the Prophet was a man and so he could not be a complete role model for half of the humanity; therefore, there was a need for a perfect female model of Qur'anic values and teachings. And that role model for women was Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet. This is how Fatima is part of the Prophet; she completes the female dimension of the Prophet's function as a complete role model for humanity.
That is why the Prophet of Islam described Fatima as follows: "The leader of all the ladies of Paradise." (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 4, p.819.)
"Fatima is a part of me, and he who makes her angry, makes me angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 5, p. 61.)
According to the holy Qur'an (33:33) she is among the infallibles ones in Islam. This status of infallibility comes with being a part of the Prophetic mission: he is the perfect role model for the men whereas she is the perfect role model for women.
Fatima was not only a loving daughter, a loyal wife and a caring mother; she is known in history as a woman of knowledge and wisdom, and she actively stood up for her rights. An excellent example of her social activism can be seen when she was denied her inheritance upon her father's death. Fatima challenged the authorities in power on basis of the Qur'an. She argued that the Qur'an has examples where the children of past prophets inherited their father. Using the Qur'an as her basis, she argued that she should not be denied her right.
Jab Kabhi Ghairat-e-Insaan Ka Sawaal Aata Hai
Bint-e-Zehra Terey Pardey Ka Khayaal Aata Hai
Fatima bint Muhammad is one of the four noblest women in Islamic teachings. This is not just because she is the daughter of the Prophet of Islam or the wife of Imam Ali or the mother of Hasan and Hussain. These relationships are significant in themselves, but Fatima is important to the Muslims in her own right.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is seen as the perfect model of the values and teachings that were revealed in the holy Qur'an. He was the Last Prophet and the Qur'an was the Final Revelation: no prophet or scripture is to be sent after him. However, the Prophet was a man and so he could not be a complete role model for half of the humanity; therefore, there was a need for a perfect female model of Qur'anic values and teachings. And that role model for women was Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet. This is how Fatima is part of the Prophet; she completes the female dimension of the Prophet's function as a complete role model for humanity.
That is why the Prophet of Islam described Fatima as follows: "The leader of all the ladies of Paradise." (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 4, p.819.)
"Fatima is a part of me, and he who makes her angry, makes me angry." (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 5, p. 61.)
According to the holy Qur'an (33:33) she is among the infallibles ones in Islam. This status of infallibility comes with being a part of the Prophetic mission: he is the perfect role model for the men whereas she is the perfect role model for women.
Fatima was not only a loving daughter, a loyal wife and a caring mother; she is known in history as a woman of knowledge and wisdom, and she actively stood up for her rights. An excellent example of her social activism can be seen when she was denied her inheritance upon her father's death. Fatima challenged the authorities in power on basis of the Qur'an. She argued that the Qur'an has examples where the children of past prophets inherited their father. Using the Qur'an as her basis, she argued that she should not be denied her right.
KHADIJA (THE WIFE OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD):
KHADIJA (THE WIFE OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD):
Khadija bint Khuwaylid, the wife of the Prophet, is truly known as a noble lady; she was, in the modern terminology, the First Lady of Islam.
During the Meccan phase of Islam's movement, Khadija was the main pillar of support for Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). She was the first one to declare her faith in Islam. Her declaration of faith was a great testimony of the Prophet's character: a wife knows her husband's outer as well as inner character. By being the first to accept person to accept Islam, Khadija demonstrated that she believed in the truthfulness of Muhammad as the Messenger of God.
The initial years of Islam's mission were very trying; the Prophet faced severe opposition from the people of Mecca. In face of this rejection, Khadija provided the moral support and boasted the morale of the Prophet. According to Muslims historians, he even used to consult and discuss with her the issues related to the Islamic movement.
Khadija whole-heartedly supported the Prophet's cause by placing her wealth at his disposal. Almighty God has praised that by addressing the Prophet: "Did We not find you in need and made your free of need?" (93:8) It was through Khadija's wealth that the Almighty made the Prophet self-sufficient in his financial needs.
Although Khadija came from a very affluent background, she did not shy from sacrificing her wealth for the cause of Islam. Not only that, she even willingly went through the difficulties of three years of social/economic embargo imposed upon Prophet Muhammad and his family, the Banu Hashim. The hardship of these three years eventually resulted in her death.
It is to her credit that the Prophet of Islam did not marry another woman as long as Khadija was alive; she was the only wife who bore children for him. The name of Prophet continued through Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet and Khadija.
Khadija bint Khuwaylid, the wife of the Prophet, is truly known as a noble lady; she was, in the modern terminology, the First Lady of Islam.
During the Meccan phase of Islam's movement, Khadija was the main pillar of support for Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). She was the first one to declare her faith in Islam. Her declaration of faith was a great testimony of the Prophet's character: a wife knows her husband's outer as well as inner character. By being the first to accept person to accept Islam, Khadija demonstrated that she believed in the truthfulness of Muhammad as the Messenger of God.
The initial years of Islam's mission were very trying; the Prophet faced severe opposition from the people of Mecca. In face of this rejection, Khadija provided the moral support and boasted the morale of the Prophet. According to Muslims historians, he even used to consult and discuss with her the issues related to the Islamic movement.
Khadija whole-heartedly supported the Prophet's cause by placing her wealth at his disposal. Almighty God has praised that by addressing the Prophet: "Did We not find you in need and made your free of need?" (93:8) It was through Khadija's wealth that the Almighty made the Prophet self-sufficient in his financial needs.
Although Khadija came from a very affluent background, she did not shy from sacrificing her wealth for the cause of Islam. Not only that, she even willingly went through the difficulties of three years of social/economic embargo imposed upon Prophet Muhammad and his family, the Banu Hashim. The hardship of these three years eventually resulted in her death.
It is to her credit that the Prophet of Islam did not marry another woman as long as Khadija was alive; she was the only wife who bore children for him. The name of Prophet continued through Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet and Khadija.
MARY (MOTHER OF JESUS):
MARY (MOTHER OF JESUS):
Mary is one of the noblest women in Islamic teachings since she was chosen to miraculously give birth to the Prophet Jesus.
When the Angel approached her with the news that she has been chosen as mother of the Prophet who is to be born miraculously without a father, she was perplexed. She said, "When shall I have a boy and no man has yet touched me, nor have I been unchaste?"
The Angel conveyed the answer of God: "It is easy for Me. And We intend to make Jesus a sign to people and a mercy from Us; and this is a matter which has been decreed."
She was alone when the throes of childbirth compelled her to take refuge by the trunk of a palm tree. She was distressed and said, "I wish that I had died before this, and had been a thing quite forgotten!"
Right then, Jesus was born and he called out: "Grieve not, surely your Lord has made a stream to flow beneath you; and shake towards you the trunk of the palm-tree, it will drop on you fresh ripe dates. So eat, drink and refresh the eyes." She was also told: "If you see people, do not worry about their questions. Just say that you have make a vow to that you shall not speak to any person today."
When she came back to his people with Jesus, they said, "O Mary! Surely you have done a strange thing; your parents were not unchaste people!" She pointed towards the baby. They responded, "How can we speak to a child in the cradle?" At that moment, Jesus, by the power of God, started to speak. He said:
"Surely I am the servant of God, He has given me the Book and made me a prophet. He has made me blessed wherever I may be. He has enjoined on me to pray, to give charity so long as I live, and to be dutiful to my mother. He has not made me insolent and unblessed. So peace upon me on the day I was born, on the day I die, and on the day I shall be raised back to life."
This is the story of the Virgin Mary and her son, Jesus, the Prophet and Messenger of God, as mentioned in Chapter 19 of the Qur'an.
Mary is one of the noblest women in Islamic teachings since she was chosen to miraculously give birth to the Prophet Jesus.
When the Angel approached her with the news that she has been chosen as mother of the Prophet who is to be born miraculously without a father, she was perplexed. She said, "When shall I have a boy and no man has yet touched me, nor have I been unchaste?"
The Angel conveyed the answer of God: "It is easy for Me. And We intend to make Jesus a sign to people and a mercy from Us; and this is a matter which has been decreed."
She was alone when the throes of childbirth compelled her to take refuge by the trunk of a palm tree. She was distressed and said, "I wish that I had died before this, and had been a thing quite forgotten!"
Right then, Jesus was born and he called out: "Grieve not, surely your Lord has made a stream to flow beneath you; and shake towards you the trunk of the palm-tree, it will drop on you fresh ripe dates. So eat, drink and refresh the eyes." She was also told: "If you see people, do not worry about their questions. Just say that you have make a vow to that you shall not speak to any person today."
When she came back to his people with Jesus, they said, "O Mary! Surely you have done a strange thing; your parents were not unchaste people!" She pointed towards the baby. They responded, "How can we speak to a child in the cradle?" At that moment, Jesus, by the power of God, started to speak. He said:
"Surely I am the servant of God, He has given me the Book and made me a prophet. He has made me blessed wherever I may be. He has enjoined on me to pray, to give charity so long as I live, and to be dutiful to my mother. He has not made me insolent and unblessed. So peace upon me on the day I was born, on the day I die, and on the day I shall be raised back to life."
This is the story of the Virgin Mary and her son, Jesus, the Prophet and Messenger of God, as mentioned in Chapter 19 of the Qur'an.
ASIYA BINT MUZAHIM (THE PHARAOH'S WIFE):
ASIYA BINT MUZAHIM (THE PHARAOH'S WIFE):
The holy Qur'an has presented Asiya bint Muzahim as one of the best role models for women.
Asiya's greatness is in the fact that although she was the wife of one of the most Powerful, arrogant and tyrant rulers of Egypt, she was able to see and accept the truth in message of Prophet Moses. For her, wealth, beauty or status was not the main criterion of human excellence; she realized that without faith in God, a human being has nothing.
God had chosen her to provide refuge to Moses when he was an infant. When her maids brought the cradle of Moses from the river, she insisted to Pharaoh that she wanted to adopt that infant as a child: The wife of Pharaoh said: "(Here is) joy of the eye, for me and for thee: slay him not. It may be that he will be use to us, or we may adopt him as a son." And they perceived not (what they were doing)! (28:9)
Asiya bint Muzahim had declared her faith in the message of God after witnessing the miracle of Moses in the Court of Pharaoh; and after witnessing the death of another believing, woman under torture. Pharaoh tried to turn her away from the God of Moses and sought her mother's help. But Asiya refused to reject the God of Moses. On Pharaoh's order, she Was tortured to death.
The Qur'an says: "And Allah gives an example for those who believe: the wife of pharaoh. (Remember) when she said, 'My Lord! Build for me a house with Thee in the Paradise, and deliver me from Pharaoh and his deeds; and deliver me from the unjust people.'" (66:11)
In this lady, we see the example of supreme sacrifice: By marrying Pharaoh, Asiya bint Muzahim became the Queen of Egypt, she gained everything that she wanted in this worldly life from the materialistic point of view: the best of clothes, food, palaces, jewels, servants and maids, etc. But she sacrificed all that to be closer to Allah. And that is why we see her included by the Prophet in the list of the four women who attained the level of perfection
The holy Qur'an has presented Asiya bint Muzahim as one of the best role models for women.
Asiya's greatness is in the fact that although she was the wife of one of the most Powerful, arrogant and tyrant rulers of Egypt, she was able to see and accept the truth in message of Prophet Moses. For her, wealth, beauty or status was not the main criterion of human excellence; she realized that without faith in God, a human being has nothing.
God had chosen her to provide refuge to Moses when he was an infant. When her maids brought the cradle of Moses from the river, she insisted to Pharaoh that she wanted to adopt that infant as a child: The wife of Pharaoh said: "(Here is) joy of the eye, for me and for thee: slay him not. It may be that he will be use to us, or we may adopt him as a son." And they perceived not (what they were doing)! (28:9)
Asiya bint Muzahim had declared her faith in the message of God after witnessing the miracle of Moses in the Court of Pharaoh; and after witnessing the death of another believing, woman under torture. Pharaoh tried to turn her away from the God of Moses and sought her mother's help. But Asiya refused to reject the God of Moses. On Pharaoh's order, she Was tortured to death.
The Qur'an says: "And Allah gives an example for those who believe: the wife of pharaoh. (Remember) when she said, 'My Lord! Build for me a house with Thee in the Paradise, and deliver me from Pharaoh and his deeds; and deliver me from the unjust people.'" (66:11)
In this lady, we see the example of supreme sacrifice: By marrying Pharaoh, Asiya bint Muzahim became the Queen of Egypt, she gained everything that she wanted in this worldly life from the materialistic point of view: the best of clothes, food, palaces, jewels, servants and maids, etc. But she sacrificed all that to be closer to Allah. And that is why we see her included by the Prophet in the list of the four women who attained the level of perfection
HAJIRA (MOTHER OF ISHMAEL):
HAJIRA (MOTHER OF ISHMAEL):
Prophet Ibrahim had become over 90 years old and had no child. Sarah, his wife, gave her slave-girl, by name of Hajira, to Ibrahim as a wife. Through Hajira, Almighty God blessed Ibrahim with a son: Ishmael (peace be upon him).
Sarah became jealous of Hajira. Finally, decided to test the patience of Ibrahim by asking him to take Hajira and the infant Ishmael into a desert and leave them there. Ibrahim was guided to that desert area which later became famous as Mecca. Prophet Ibrahim brought Hajira and Ishmael to Mecca and left them as commanded by God.
Whatever provisions Ibrahim had brought for his wife and child finally ran out. The baby Ishmael started crying out of thirst. Hajira set out in search for water. She was standing on the small hill of Safa; she looked towards the hill of Marwah and thought that there was water over there. When she reached Marwah, there was not water; it was just a mirage. She turned facing Safa and thought that there was water over there. She returned to Safa, but there was no water; it was just a mirage.
As mother, desperately looking for water for her child, Hajira ran between the hills of Safa and Marwah seven times. Finally, she saw that a water stream had started at the feet of Ishmael. This miraculous steam is still running on beside the Kaaba, the House of God, and it is known as Zamzam.
God so much loved the spirit of motherhood demonstrated by Hajira - ho ran seven times between the hills of Safa and Marwah in search of water for her child that, He has commanded the Muslim pilgrims to walk between the hills of Safa and Marwah when they go for the pilgrimage.
The ritual of walking between the two hills of Safa and Marwah seven times is an essential part of pilgrimage and it perpetuates the memory of Hajira as a mother.
Prophet Ibrahim had become over 90 years old and had no child. Sarah, his wife, gave her slave-girl, by name of Hajira, to Ibrahim as a wife. Through Hajira, Almighty God blessed Ibrahim with a son: Ishmael (peace be upon him).
Sarah became jealous of Hajira. Finally, decided to test the patience of Ibrahim by asking him to take Hajira and the infant Ishmael into a desert and leave them there. Ibrahim was guided to that desert area which later became famous as Mecca. Prophet Ibrahim brought Hajira and Ishmael to Mecca and left them as commanded by God.
Whatever provisions Ibrahim had brought for his wife and child finally ran out. The baby Ishmael started crying out of thirst. Hajira set out in search for water. She was standing on the small hill of Safa; she looked towards the hill of Marwah and thought that there was water over there. When she reached Marwah, there was not water; it was just a mirage. She turned facing Safa and thought that there was water over there. She returned to Safa, but there was no water; it was just a mirage.
As mother, desperately looking for water for her child, Hajira ran between the hills of Safa and Marwah seven times. Finally, she saw that a water stream had started at the feet of Ishmael. This miraculous steam is still running on beside the Kaaba, the House of God, and it is known as Zamzam.
God so much loved the spirit of motherhood demonstrated by Hajira - ho ran seven times between the hills of Safa and Marwah in search of water for her child that, He has commanded the Muslim pilgrims to walk between the hills of Safa and Marwah when they go for the pilgrimage.
The ritual of walking between the two hills of Safa and Marwah seven times is an essential part of pilgrimage and it perpetuates the memory of Hajira as a mother.
WOMEN'S ROLE IN ISLAM
WOMEN'S ROLE IN ISLAM
The Purpose of Life: Wherever God talks about the human beings (Insaan) or whenever He talks about human soul (Nafs) in the Qur'an, Muslims theologians and scholars have never considered that humanness or the soul as 'male' or 'female'. (See 51:56, 91:1-10; 53:38-39)
The male or female division is only possible when we talk about the physical dimension of humans, not when we talk about the spiritual dimension. And so, from the Islamic perspective, the humanness of woman has never been denied or questioned; nor has there ever been any discussion whether she possesses a soul or not.
Since both are same in their humanness, both have been created for the same purpose: to serve God.
The Virtues in Human Beings: Whenever and wherever Islam has talked about virtues in human beings, it has not differentiated between men and women. Both have the potential to acquire knowledge. Both, men and women, are expected to exhibit the spirit of piety and other good attributes in Islam.
MODESTY & DECENCY (HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT FOR HUMANITY)
The beauty of a woman:
Is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair,
or the style she does make up.
The beauty of a woman:
must be seen in her Hijab, and her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman:
is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman,
is reflected in her soul.
The beauty of woman is in her modesty.
And the real glamour of her is her honesty.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she shows.
And the beauty of a woman,
with passing years - only grows!
HOLY QUR'AN PROCLAIMS: O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. ( Soorah-e-Ahzaab, verse 59)
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. ( Soorah-e-Noor, verse 31)
Islam does not allow free and unrestricted intermingling of the sexes. The rule of modesty applies to men as well as women.
CORRUPT VS PURE: Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honorable. (Holy Quran 24:26)
A woman's best Jewelry is her Shyness. - Lady Fatima Zehra (sa)
Nice girls are with Hijaab. - Prophet Muhammad (saw)
The Purpose of Life: Wherever God talks about the human beings (Insaan) or whenever He talks about human soul (Nafs) in the Qur'an, Muslims theologians and scholars have never considered that humanness or the soul as 'male' or 'female'. (See 51:56, 91:1-10; 53:38-39)
The male or female division is only possible when we talk about the physical dimension of humans, not when we talk about the spiritual dimension. And so, from the Islamic perspective, the humanness of woman has never been denied or questioned; nor has there ever been any discussion whether she possesses a soul or not.
Since both are same in their humanness, both have been created for the same purpose: to serve God.
The Virtues in Human Beings: Whenever and wherever Islam has talked about virtues in human beings, it has not differentiated between men and women. Both have the potential to acquire knowledge. Both, men and women, are expected to exhibit the spirit of piety and other good attributes in Islam.
MODESTY & DECENCY (HIGHEST ACHIEVEMENT FOR HUMANITY)
The beauty of a woman:
Is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair,
or the style she does make up.
The beauty of a woman:
must be seen in her Hijab, and her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman:
is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman,
is reflected in her soul.
The beauty of woman is in her modesty.
And the real glamour of her is her honesty.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she shows.
And the beauty of a woman,
with passing years - only grows!
HOLY QUR'AN PROCLAIMS: O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. ( Soorah-e-Ahzaab, verse 59)
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. ( Soorah-e-Noor, verse 31)
Islam does not allow free and unrestricted intermingling of the sexes. The rule of modesty applies to men as well as women.
CORRUPT VS PURE: Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honorable. (Holy Quran 24:26)
A woman's best Jewelry is her Shyness. - Lady Fatima Zehra (sa)
Nice girls are with Hijaab. - Prophet Muhammad (saw)
MOTHER (THE FOUNTAIN OF LIFE)
MOTHER (THE FOUNTAIN OF LIFE)
And the paradise is under the feet of your mothers. - Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Islam has greatly emphasized the issue of loving and respecting the parents, the father and the mother. In our infancy and childhood, we needed the protection, love and nurturing of the parents; but when they become old, they need us to protect them and take care of them.
"Your Lord has commanded that you shall not worship (anyone) but Him and to be good to the parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'Ugh' nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And lower for them 'the wings of humility' out of mercy; and pray; 'O my Lord! Have mercy on them as they brought me up (when I was) little.'" (17:23-24)
However, out of the two, the mother has been given greater priority as far as kindness is concerned. Once Hakim bin Hizam came to the Prophet of Islam and asked: "To whom should I be kind?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother." Hakim asked, "Then to whom?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." Hakim asked, "Then to whom?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother." Only when Hakim asked the fourth time that, "Then to whom?" the Prophet replied, "Your father." This shows that the right of mother upon the children is three times more than the rights of father as far as kindness is concerned.
Imam Ali bin Hussain, the great-grandson of the Prophet, said: "Coming to the rights of relatives, it is the right of your mother that you should appreciate that she carried you [in her womb] as nobody carries anybody, and fed you the fruits of her heart which nobody feeds anybody, and protected you [during pregnancy] with her ears, hands, legs, hair, limbs, [in short] with her whole being, gladly, cheerfully and carefully; suffering patiently all the worries, pains, difficulties and sorrows [of pregnancy], till the hand of God removed you from her and brought you into this world."
"Then she was most happy feeding you, even if she herself had no clothes; giving you milk and water; not caring for her own thirst; keeping you in the shade, even if she had to suffer from the heat of the sun; giving you every comfort with her own hardship; lulling you to sleep while keeping herself awake."
"And [remember that] her womb was your abode, and her lap your refuge, and her breast your feeder, and her whole existence your protection; it was she, not you, who was braving the heat and cold of this world for your safety."
"Therefore, you must remain thankful to her accordingly, and you cannot do so except by the help and assistance from Allah." (The Charter of Right, p.18)
And the paradise is under the feet of your mothers. - Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Islam has greatly emphasized the issue of loving and respecting the parents, the father and the mother. In our infancy and childhood, we needed the protection, love and nurturing of the parents; but when they become old, they need us to protect them and take care of them.
"Your Lord has commanded that you shall not worship (anyone) but Him and to be good to the parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'Ugh' nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And lower for them 'the wings of humility' out of mercy; and pray; 'O my Lord! Have mercy on them as they brought me up (when I was) little.'" (17:23-24)
However, out of the two, the mother has been given greater priority as far as kindness is concerned. Once Hakim bin Hizam came to the Prophet of Islam and asked: "To whom should I be kind?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother." Hakim asked, "Then to whom?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." Hakim asked, "Then to whom?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother." Only when Hakim asked the fourth time that, "Then to whom?" the Prophet replied, "Your father." This shows that the right of mother upon the children is three times more than the rights of father as far as kindness is concerned.
Imam Ali bin Hussain, the great-grandson of the Prophet, said: "Coming to the rights of relatives, it is the right of your mother that you should appreciate that she carried you [in her womb] as nobody carries anybody, and fed you the fruits of her heart which nobody feeds anybody, and protected you [during pregnancy] with her ears, hands, legs, hair, limbs, [in short] with her whole being, gladly, cheerfully and carefully; suffering patiently all the worries, pains, difficulties and sorrows [of pregnancy], till the hand of God removed you from her and brought you into this world."
"Then she was most happy feeding you, even if she herself had no clothes; giving you milk and water; not caring for her own thirst; keeping you in the shade, even if she had to suffer from the heat of the sun; giving you every comfort with her own hardship; lulling you to sleep while keeping herself awake."
"And [remember that] her womb was your abode, and her lap your refuge, and her breast your feeder, and her whole existence your protection; it was she, not you, who was braving the heat and cold of this world for your safety."
"Therefore, you must remain thankful to her accordingly, and you cannot do so except by the help and assistance from Allah." (The Charter of Right, p.18)
Almighty Allah (SWT) says:
Almighty Allah (SWT) says:
And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Holy Qur'an 24:32)
And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful. (Holy Qur'an 2:221)
O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other; surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty); surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (Holy Qur'an 49:13)
The Prophet of Islam, Muhammad (saw) said:
If someone of good character and conduct proposes to your daughters, marry them. If you do not, there will be mischief and great corruption on Earth. (Kulayni and Tirmidhi)
Whoever marries a woman for her glory, Allah will not increase his, but will bring him humiliation; whoever marries her for her wealth, Allah will not increase his, but place him in poverty; whoever marries her for ancestral claims, Allah will not increase his, but in meanness; whoever marries a woman for nothing but to cast down his eyes, guard his private parts, and to establish a relationship, Allah will bless him through her and vice versa. (Al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib)
Women were married for four reasons: for their wealth, their status, their beauty and their religion, and that the good Muslims were the ones who married women because of their faith. (Muslim)
Whoever gets married, has safeguarded half of his religion. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Whoever chooses to follow my tradition must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummah (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The most detestable of the lawful things in Allah eyes is divorce. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The greatest blessing in the world is a pious wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Verily, the most perfect amongst believers in faith is he who is the best in manner and the kindest to his wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Allah will become angered with a married woman if she fills her eyes with the look of strangers. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband's permission if he is at home (staying with her). - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The words of a husband to his wife, "I truly love you," should never leave her heart. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
If a man helps his spouse in household work, Allah records for him spiritual reward equal to the hair on his body as if he had fasted during days and offered prayers during nights for one full year. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A man said to the Messenger of Allah (saw): I have a wife who welcomes me at the door when I enter the house, and sees me off when I leave. When she sees me grieved, asks me: 'What are you grieved for? If you are anxious about your livelihood, it is guaranteed by other than you: or if you are worried about the hereafter, may Allah increase your worries.' The Messenger of Allah said: "Allah has agents and she is one of them. She will get half a martyr's reward."
The Messenger of Allah was asked, "What rights do our wives have over us?" He replied: "You shall feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself; you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile [her], nor leave her [alone] except within the house."
If a woman does not perform her duty as a spouse, she has not done her duty to Allah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A bad woman does not forgive her husband's mistake and does not accept his apology. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet (saw) of Allah. - Imam Ali (as)
Women are like flowers. They should be treated gently, kindly, and with affection. - Imam Ali (as)
Act moderately with women in every instance. Speak to them nicely in order that their deeds become good. - Imam Ali (as)
Whoever is our friend, expresses kindness to his spouse more often. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
May Allah bless a man who creates a good relationship with his wife, because Allah has appointed man to be the guardian of his wife. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
When you love someone, let the person know. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
Whoever marries must respect his wife. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
The best women among your women are those who show appreciation when their husbands bring home something and are not discontented if nothing is brought home. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
Who is lucky man? "Imam Rida (as) stated: The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence.
Some women are blessings for their husbands who express their love and affection. - Imam Ridha (as)
Get the one who is religious and prosper. (Bukhari) Read the story of Jowaibir and Zalfa
Use free matchmaking service from online Muslim Matrimonial website to find your Muslim Soul Mate or Islamic Life Partner.
And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Holy Qur'an 24:32)
And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful. (Holy Qur'an 2:221)
O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other; surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty); surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (Holy Qur'an 49:13)
The Prophet of Islam, Muhammad (saw) said:
If someone of good character and conduct proposes to your daughters, marry them. If you do not, there will be mischief and great corruption on Earth. (Kulayni and Tirmidhi)
Whoever marries a woman for her glory, Allah will not increase his, but will bring him humiliation; whoever marries her for her wealth, Allah will not increase his, but place him in poverty; whoever marries her for ancestral claims, Allah will not increase his, but in meanness; whoever marries a woman for nothing but to cast down his eyes, guard his private parts, and to establish a relationship, Allah will bless him through her and vice versa. (Al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib)
Women were married for four reasons: for their wealth, their status, their beauty and their religion, and that the good Muslims were the ones who married women because of their faith. (Muslim)
Whoever gets married, has safeguarded half of his religion. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Whoever chooses to follow my tradition must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummah (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The most detestable of the lawful things in Allah eyes is divorce. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The greatest blessing in the world is a pious wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Verily, the most perfect amongst believers in faith is he who is the best in manner and the kindest to his wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Allah will become angered with a married woman if she fills her eyes with the look of strangers. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband's permission if he is at home (staying with her). - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
The words of a husband to his wife, "I truly love you," should never leave her heart. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
If a man helps his spouse in household work, Allah records for him spiritual reward equal to the hair on his body as if he had fasted during days and offered prayers during nights for one full year. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A man said to the Messenger of Allah (saw): I have a wife who welcomes me at the door when I enter the house, and sees me off when I leave. When she sees me grieved, asks me: 'What are you grieved for? If you are anxious about your livelihood, it is guaranteed by other than you: or if you are worried about the hereafter, may Allah increase your worries.' The Messenger of Allah said: "Allah has agents and she is one of them. She will get half a martyr's reward."
The Messenger of Allah was asked, "What rights do our wives have over us?" He replied: "You shall feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself; you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile [her], nor leave her [alone] except within the house."
If a woman does not perform her duty as a spouse, she has not done her duty to Allah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A bad woman does not forgive her husband's mistake and does not accept his apology. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Engage in marriage; because this is the tradition of the Prophet (saw) of Allah. - Imam Ali (as)
Women are like flowers. They should be treated gently, kindly, and with affection. - Imam Ali (as)
Act moderately with women in every instance. Speak to them nicely in order that their deeds become good. - Imam Ali (as)
Whoever is our friend, expresses kindness to his spouse more often. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
May Allah bless a man who creates a good relationship with his wife, because Allah has appointed man to be the guardian of his wife. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
When you love someone, let the person know. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
Whoever marries must respect his wife. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
The best women among your women are those who show appreciation when their husbands bring home something and are not discontented if nothing is brought home. - Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (as)
Who is lucky man? "Imam Rida (as) stated: The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence.
Some women are blessings for their husbands who express their love and affection. - Imam Ridha (as)
Get the one who is religious and prosper. (Bukhari) Read the story of Jowaibir and Zalfa
Use free matchmaking service from online Muslim Matrimonial website to find your Muslim Soul Mate or Islamic Life Partner.
Islamic Wife (Muslim Bride) in the light of Holy Qur'an and Ahadees (Prophetic traditions)
Islamic Wife (Muslim Bride) in the light of Holy Qur'an and Ahadees (Prophetic traditions)
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "A thankful tongue, a soft-hearted wife is a friend of yours in religion.'' These are the qualities that Islam desires in a woman who shall nurture the future generations of mankind towards an Islamic society.
Sociologists all over the world are laying more and more stress on the importance of family life, as opposed to what goes on in the West, where 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce, where 60% of divorced women are prone to suicide, and almost every separated family has a history of a delinquent child.
As a maintainer of woman, the man has been deemed responsible for managing the day-to-day affairs outside the house, striving to earn, a livelihood. Woman has been given complete charge of the house, responsible for rearing the children and managing the home. This division of management is not in any way derogatory to the honor of woman; she is not the man's slave, but his equal. In all its wisdom, Islam has allotted different sets of duties to men and women because of their different physical and mental attributes. Man is physically better suited to rough it out in the harsh world, and, due to her physical and emotional make up, woman is more suitable to manage the house.
A woman is more self-sufficient in household affairs and better shoulders the responsibility of rearing the children. This arrangement guarantees the continuation and the formation of a society complementing religion. This is a great trial and test for man and woman. Very rarely do we find a family like that of Imam Ali (A.S.), which contains a Fatima Zahra (S.A.), Imam Hassan (A.S.), Imam Hussain (A.S.), Zainab (S.A.) and Kulsum (S.A.).
Holy Qur'an states: "They (wives) are an apparel for you, and you are an apparel for them." (2:187)
What the Holy Qur'an is stating is clear - besides covering the body, apparel protects the body from the vagaries of nature, enhancing one's personal beauty. Man and wife should complement each other, and as Imam Ali (A.S.) has said, "Like a dress, a worthy wife will conceal one's fault."
Whether a man or a woman has an ideological or moral weakness, they will hide one another's faults.
Almighty Allah (SWT) has compared man and wife with apparel, because by their unity they cover up their natural shortcomings, and their union protects them from the miseries of living alone.
Imam Jafar Sadiq (A.S.) said, "Be careful of the woman you choose, the woman you will make a partner in your property, religion and secrets. Find a woman who is well behaved and good tempered."
Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "The honored woman before Allah (SWT) are those who are obedient to their husbands and remain within the boundaries of their homes."
Although Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) is stressing one of the most important rights a man has over his wife, the present day Muslim wife has been given other rights besides the right to raise her voice against tyranny and cruelty. The garb of hijab, or modest dress, grants the woman her independence, the right to educate herself and to participate in social activity.
The divine psychologist, Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw), told his daughter Bibi Fatima (S.A.), "O Fatima! If a woman worshipped Allah 70,000 years and died disobeying her husband, she would be among the people of Hell."
There are similar sayings, which remind husbands to fulfill their duties towards their wives.
A woman is not a man's slave; she is his equal. In order that the family union be a peaceful and Islamic one, the man's authority is not based on tyranny or fear, but love and mercy, as the Holy Qur'an says: "And made him her spouse, so that he may rest in her."
If there is a family which has its foundations on hatred, tyranny and fear, the family would come crashing down, but in an Islamic family, peace, tranquility and love prevail. After a hard day's toil and labor, a man wants to come home to a cheerful wife who fills his home and life with peace and happiness; not to a house filled with hatred, bickering and nagging.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "There are five things which bring salvation: (1) a worthy wife; (2) a well-behaved son; (3) a well-behaved daughter; (4) a good companion to help for one's daily bread; and (5) friendship with the descendants of Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has equated a worthy wife with the friendship of the Aal-e-Rasul (Ahlul Bayt). In this we see that if she is homely and cheerful, the wife is a perfect partner for a man who is committed to build an Islamic family.
According to Imam Musa Kazim (A.S.), the wife is instrumental in the training of children - therefore she is a means of strengthening faith.
Imam Ali (A.S.) said, "[In marriage] the best attributes in women are the worst attributes in men - such as pride, fear, and jealousy. If a woman is proud, she will never yield to anyone other than her husband. If she lacks courage, she will be frightened by any kind of accident. If she is jealous, she will safeguard her husband's property."
A truly Islamic wife is one who considers her husband's income as the best in the whole world, and runs the house within her budget and limits.
Allah, the All-Knowing, has promised many eternal rewards to the wife for her domestic chores. And Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said. "If, while cooking food, tears come out of her eyes due to smoke, Allah will write a reward for her such as the reward of those warriors (in the way of Allah) whose eyes shed tears from the fear of Allah (SWT)."
Thus, we see that if man and woman, who are bound by matrimony, perform their duties and remain within the framework assigned to them by Islam, then family life would be smooth and peaceful. Elahi Ameen.
Use free matchmaking service from online Muslim Matrimonial website to find your Muslim Bride or Islamic Wife.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "A thankful tongue, a soft-hearted wife is a friend of yours in religion.'' These are the qualities that Islam desires in a woman who shall nurture the future generations of mankind towards an Islamic society.
Sociologists all over the world are laying more and more stress on the importance of family life, as opposed to what goes on in the West, where 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce, where 60% of divorced women are prone to suicide, and almost every separated family has a history of a delinquent child.
As a maintainer of woman, the man has been deemed responsible for managing the day-to-day affairs outside the house, striving to earn, a livelihood. Woman has been given complete charge of the house, responsible for rearing the children and managing the home. This division of management is not in any way derogatory to the honor of woman; she is not the man's slave, but his equal. In all its wisdom, Islam has allotted different sets of duties to men and women because of their different physical and mental attributes. Man is physically better suited to rough it out in the harsh world, and, due to her physical and emotional make up, woman is more suitable to manage the house.
A woman is more self-sufficient in household affairs and better shoulders the responsibility of rearing the children. This arrangement guarantees the continuation and the formation of a society complementing religion. This is a great trial and test for man and woman. Very rarely do we find a family like that of Imam Ali (A.S.), which contains a Fatima Zahra (S.A.), Imam Hassan (A.S.), Imam Hussain (A.S.), Zainab (S.A.) and Kulsum (S.A.).
Holy Qur'an states: "They (wives) are an apparel for you, and you are an apparel for them." (2:187)
What the Holy Qur'an is stating is clear - besides covering the body, apparel protects the body from the vagaries of nature, enhancing one's personal beauty. Man and wife should complement each other, and as Imam Ali (A.S.) has said, "Like a dress, a worthy wife will conceal one's fault."
Whether a man or a woman has an ideological or moral weakness, they will hide one another's faults.
Almighty Allah (SWT) has compared man and wife with apparel, because by their unity they cover up their natural shortcomings, and their union protects them from the miseries of living alone.
Imam Jafar Sadiq (A.S.) said, "Be careful of the woman you choose, the woman you will make a partner in your property, religion and secrets. Find a woman who is well behaved and good tempered."
Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "The honored woman before Allah (SWT) are those who are obedient to their husbands and remain within the boundaries of their homes."
Although Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) is stressing one of the most important rights a man has over his wife, the present day Muslim wife has been given other rights besides the right to raise her voice against tyranny and cruelty. The garb of hijab, or modest dress, grants the woman her independence, the right to educate herself and to participate in social activity.
The divine psychologist, Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw), told his daughter Bibi Fatima (S.A.), "O Fatima! If a woman worshipped Allah 70,000 years and died disobeying her husband, she would be among the people of Hell."
There are similar sayings, which remind husbands to fulfill their duties towards their wives.
A woman is not a man's slave; she is his equal. In order that the family union be a peaceful and Islamic one, the man's authority is not based on tyranny or fear, but love and mercy, as the Holy Qur'an says: "And made him her spouse, so that he may rest in her."
If there is a family which has its foundations on hatred, tyranny and fear, the family would come crashing down, but in an Islamic family, peace, tranquility and love prevail. After a hard day's toil and labor, a man wants to come home to a cheerful wife who fills his home and life with peace and happiness; not to a house filled with hatred, bickering and nagging.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "There are five things which bring salvation: (1) a worthy wife; (2) a well-behaved son; (3) a well-behaved daughter; (4) a good companion to help for one's daily bread; and (5) friendship with the descendants of Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has equated a worthy wife with the friendship of the Aal-e-Rasul (Ahlul Bayt). In this we see that if she is homely and cheerful, the wife is a perfect partner for a man who is committed to build an Islamic family.
According to Imam Musa Kazim (A.S.), the wife is instrumental in the training of children - therefore she is a means of strengthening faith.
Imam Ali (A.S.) said, "[In marriage] the best attributes in women are the worst attributes in men - such as pride, fear, and jealousy. If a woman is proud, she will never yield to anyone other than her husband. If she lacks courage, she will be frightened by any kind of accident. If she is jealous, she will safeguard her husband's property."
A truly Islamic wife is one who considers her husband's income as the best in the whole world, and runs the house within her budget and limits.
Allah, the All-Knowing, has promised many eternal rewards to the wife for her domestic chores. And Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said. "If, while cooking food, tears come out of her eyes due to smoke, Allah will write a reward for her such as the reward of those warriors (in the way of Allah) whose eyes shed tears from the fear of Allah (SWT)."
Thus, we see that if man and woman, who are bound by matrimony, perform their duties and remain within the framework assigned to them by Islam, then family life would be smooth and peaceful. Elahi Ameen.
Use free matchmaking service from online Muslim Matrimonial website to find your Muslim Bride or Islamic Wife.
Strive to please Allah and Allah Alone, may He be glorified
Strive to please Allah and Allah Alone, may He be glorified. Make pure intentions in all that you do, especially when you are ultimately doing something "just" for your husband, children or household. Know that these are your duties as the Muslim wife, and be thankful that no good deed will ever be overlooked or under-appreciated by our One Beneficent Creator. Do not strive for the temporary conveniences of this life (such as, "Thank you" gifts, or words of praise). Be aware that you can be the greatest joy in his life and worthy of great things in the hereafter. Ameen.
Ponn Sabra MPH, a highly-prolific public health official, turned best-selling author, internet marketer and columnist, now focuses all her time and energy to being a Muslim homeschooling mom. Ponn and her 3 girls created the 1st and largest online community dedicated to American Muslim moms where they share their high-tech, traveling, green tips, tools, contests and more. Come grab some great freebies at http://AmericanMuslimMom.com today!
Ponn Sabra MPH, a highly-prolific public health official, turned best-selling author, internet marketer and columnist, now focuses all her time and energy to being a Muslim homeschooling mom. Ponn and her 3 girls created the 1st and largest online community dedicated to American Muslim moms where they share their high-tech, traveling, green tips, tools, contests and more. Come grab some great freebies at http://AmericanMuslimMom.com today!
Be timely and aware.
Be timely and aware. Organize a schedule tight enough to maintain a healthy routine and regularity to your life; yet flexible enough to allow for surprises and randomness. Know that the dunya (this life on Earth) is very short, and that every positive act is one step closer to the akhira (hereafter), inshaAllah (God willing).
Strive to be the best personal chef you possibly can
Strive to be the best personal chef you possibly can. Be keen to please all his senses, which the beauty of food has the ability to do. Be patient and try to learn how to master the art of offering a refreshing scent to your nose, pleasurable texture to your fingers, appealing display to your eyes, and the peaceful silence to your ears--all in one tasty meal. Remember that this is possible with the least of foods. For example, some of the favorite foods of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, were milk, olives, olive oil, bread, cucumbers, and dates.
Strive to have your home his chosen place of comfort and leisure.
Strive to have your home his chosen place of comfort and leisure. Cleanliness, organization, brightness and clutter-freedom keep a home happy and fun. A creative woman can find her family's comfort zone and preferences. It is possible to find tones that are naturally colorful and lively yet calming. Beyond the overall pleasing appeal of your home, you need to be refreshing to him close-up too. Allow your bodily fragrances and breathe to always be worth being a cheek apart. Allow him all the reasons to rush home because it is safe, healthy, and peaceful and fun--his getaway from the daily stresses of work, and outside forces. Make a lifetime goal to establish and share all your favorite halal (permissible) past-times together. From fixing cars, cooking exotic meals, playing family board games, reciting Qur'an, learning nasheeds (Islamic songs), and grocery shopping--family time is sacred treasured time. Be your family's Leisure Leader.
Apply the art of influencing positive moods during difficult times
Apply the art of influencing positive moods during difficult times. Being the sunshine to your husband's rainy days is difficult and tricky, yet one of the most treasured skills. Learn to listen patiently even if his anger makes you uneasy--know that your happy mood is what you want as the outcome, not his continued anger. Offer happiness to brighten his sadness. Rush to please him during times of frustration. Be a balanced, respectful leader so he values your strength, but beware that arrogance does not overcome you. Be kind and gentle often enough, without showing you are incapable or weak. Be confident and aggressive enough to teach him something new, yet not rude, abrasive or hurtful in the process. Be his wise woman...second to his mom. [Be aware that you and your mother-in-law have completely different relationships with your husband. Resisting competition shows your level of self-respect and dignity--qualities he years for in a pious wife.]
Be his trustworthy confidante. Listen intently to his secrets
Be his trustworthy confidante. Listen intently to his secrets. Be proud of your unique and special bond. Accept the responsibility that you share his inner most visions, goals, hopes, dreams, worries, and pain. Offer him the support that no one else can offer, simply because you are the only one that knows and understands him to his fullest. Mediate in kind tones when you sense he needs an advisor and best-friend. Take pride that you are his chosen confidante, so continue to foster an environment so he always turns to you first. Know that it is haram (prohibited) to share family secrets, especially private acts and words shared by a married couple
Strive to be your husband's partner in this life deserving of the hereafter
Strive to be your husband's partner in this life deserving of the hereafter. You should strive to reach the highest level of heaven, furdose, together. Offer him the comfort and joy to do the difficult yet extremely rewarding acts of worship. For example, be his alarm clock for fajr, make sure he does not miss his prayers or jummah (congregational prayer on Friday). Prepare a healthy suhoor (breakfast before fasting) and have iftar (meal after the fast) ready on time. Help save money for Hajj, encourage giving random charity throughout the year beyond the prescribed zakat (alms-giving) and accept a more modest lifestyle in return. Offer to make Qayal al-Lail (night prayers) together in the third part of the night, and strive to be the most caring, compassionate.
Understand your duties, roles and responsibilities as a Muslim Wife
Understand your duties, roles and responsibilities as a Muslim Wife. By understanding that your husband is the Imam, spiritual leader, of your family should give you great peace of mind. The ultimate responsibility of providing for the family financially, spiritually, physically, morally, and emotionally lies on his shoulders. And, the consequences of his abilities to do it appropriately and righteously are weighed on his scale of good and bad deeds. His inability to advise or provide correctly may incur sins by Allah because he is failing in his duties as the Imam. For example, if he advises you or your children to do something unacceptable in Islam, and you obey his wishes, he incurs the sin for teaching you wrongly as well as your sins for doing the sinful act. Therefore, you should appreciate the great blessing for solely being responsible for what is inside the home, your children and wealth.
Top Tips to Obtain Happiness As a Muslim Wife
Marriage is fulfilling half of one's religious duties in Islam. Therefore, learning to be a confident, supportive, loving, wise and righteous wife should be a top priority for all Muslim women once they are married. And, in doing so, Muslim wives have the profound power to offer much happiness to this world, as noted in the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him,
"This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous wife". (Sahih Muslim).
Learning new methods to help Muslim wives fulfill their duties and responsibilities to their husband, family and household are also seen as completing critical acts of worship to Allah, may He be glorified. Listed below are some tips for a Muslim Wife striving to reach new levels of happiness for herself and her family:
"This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous wife". (Sahih Muslim).
Learning new methods to help Muslim wives fulfill their duties and responsibilities to their husband, family and household are also seen as completing critical acts of worship to Allah, may He be glorified. Listed below are some tips for a Muslim Wife striving to reach new levels of happiness for herself and her family:
Friday 4 March 2011
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Tuesday 1 March 2011
Message from Istanbul
Message from Istanbul
The Turkish Government's War Against Hijab
By Sajjad
Zawaj.com Editor's Note: Turkey's secular military government has for decades been waging a campaign against Islamic practice. As a part of this campaign, women are banned from wearing hijab in public buildings, including government offices, universities, and schools.
April 2002
Riot police prevent women in hijaab from entering school. April 17, 2002
Assalamu Alaykum from the lands of Muhammed Al-Faateh, the land of Islaam Bol (Istanbul).
Every day, while I am on my way to work, I see a sight that breaks my heart. I see young girls waiting at the gates of the school, arriving every day, never missing a day in this freezing cold weather, while they know that they will not be allowed to enter the school...all this due to their wearing hijab.
This sight has been repeated numerous times in the past years, but only in front of the universities, but now this has spread to the high schools (secondary schools), ...and it does not stop here. This usually is followed by the arrival of the anti-riot police who begin to push and strike these young women to break up the crowd, and many are taken to the police station.
And I look at some of these young girls, while they look to the sky crying, as if saying: "Oh, Allah...oh Allah...save us from this darkness! All this just because we wear Hijab? Is there no-one to defend us? Do we not have the right to live as you have ordered us? Do we not have the right to complete our studies same as all other schools? Why all this oppression...oh Allah?"
Turkish schoolgirls in hijaab
I remind you brothers and sisters that this land was the last capital of the Islamic Khilaafah, and this sight was never a possibility while it existed.
Sajjad
The Turkish Government's War Against Hijab
By Sajjad
Zawaj.com Editor's Note: Turkey's secular military government has for decades been waging a campaign against Islamic practice. As a part of this campaign, women are banned from wearing hijab in public buildings, including government offices, universities, and schools.
April 2002
Riot police prevent women in hijaab from entering school. April 17, 2002
Assalamu Alaykum from the lands of Muhammed Al-Faateh, the land of Islaam Bol (Istanbul).
Every day, while I am on my way to work, I see a sight that breaks my heart. I see young girls waiting at the gates of the school, arriving every day, never missing a day in this freezing cold weather, while they know that they will not be allowed to enter the school...all this due to their wearing hijab.
This sight has been repeated numerous times in the past years, but only in front of the universities, but now this has spread to the high schools (secondary schools), ...and it does not stop here. This usually is followed by the arrival of the anti-riot police who begin to push and strike these young women to break up the crowd, and many are taken to the police station.
And I look at some of these young girls, while they look to the sky crying, as if saying: "Oh, Allah...oh Allah...save us from this darkness! All this just because we wear Hijab? Is there no-one to defend us? Do we not have the right to live as you have ordered us? Do we not have the right to complete our studies same as all other schools? Why all this oppression...oh Allah?"
Turkish schoolgirls in hijaab
I remind you brothers and sisters that this land was the last capital of the Islamic Khilaafah, and this sight was never a possibility while it existed.
Sajjad
Forced "Integration" in Singapore
Forced "Integration" in Singapore
By Mansor Hj Sukaimi, Republic of Singapore
Aerial view of Singapore
Introduction: Singapore is a small island country in Southeast Asia. The majority of Singapore's people are Chinese. Malays make up a significant minority group. Most Malays are Muslim. Almost all the people live in the capital, which also has the name of Singapore. The capital is a crowded, bustling center of trade, finance, and manufacturing. However, the Chinese-dominated regime has banned various Islamic practices, including the wearing of hijab by schoolgirls, citing the need for "racial unity" or "integration."
Tudung Issue
The tudung (hijab, or Islamic headscarf) issue has given a special significance to the meaning of "integration" in our multi-racial and religious society.
Then … reports of new but related issues crop up: that students are not allowed to solat in school premises, … male students cannot leave early for Friday Solat, … Muslim staff are not allowed to wear tudung in work places ~ raising the imperatives of integration to higher heights of national security and common concern of all Singaporeans.
Mythical "If's"
If these issues were customs ingrained in all cultures and therefore become instantly relevant to all, not just Muslims, the rationale would be clear cut.
If these issues pertained to practices that had never existed, or never allowed, the merit of unaggrieved and quiet compliance would be obvious.
If September 11 had never occurred and the consequential anti-Islamic-terrorist fervour was not Bush'ed, the issues would become mundane matters just like Keeping Singapore Clean, having good manners in the public, proper queuing at MRT, submitting income tax-returns on time, coming to work on time.
If these issues did not concern profound matters of piety, all Muslims would harbour no deep umbrage.
If measures to resolve them were done with substantive knowledge, magnanimity and the usual cross-culture respect and charity, the facility of execution and compliance would have been more assured.
Now, we have a thorny scenario as all these "IF's" are mere fantasies.
INTEGRATION: The Misused Word
"Integration" takes a new meaning and gets distorted because (if we remove all the chaffs and the pleasantries) the onus of integrating essentially rests with the Muslims. Kindness from others will help, but the Muslims will be the ones who are expected to adjust. They are to come out and mix around. They have to give up something dear to them.
Facade of Sultan Mosque, Republic of Singapore
More severely, many leaders, writers to press, heads of departments, principals of schools, community leaders, and even men and women on the street are prone to using "need for integration" in a manner that puts Muslims at fault. Even the endearing MP Irene Ng gets confused between the "right to be different" and the "habituation to be pious"!
There has never been real integration in Singapore in its extant form and all of us have lived well, despite our differences. At policy levels and in security domains, Muslims and Malays have understood (but not consented) the many different rules applying to different people ~ and Singaporeans had had no national calamity. I mean severe differences that affect the lives, self-respect and well-being of one community, while other communities earn untold benefits from that one-community exclusion policy and practices.
Notwithstanding all these, the Malays in particular, and the Muslims in general, have been tolerant, compliant and not adamant, give or take a minute percentage of those who feel strong enough to do different things.
This concept of "integration" must change. It risks becoming a chimera, a wild or impossible fancy. It must be changed with magnanimity, the benevolence in respecting differences, especially on matters of deep-seated feelings and fundamentals of piety. It must be driven by continuing commitment to standing of citizenry, attributes of merit, abundance of cultural wealth, and conscious desire to be fair.
The Muslims have a spectrum of virtuous fabric that makes them different:
They submit to One God and endear to the Final Prophet. They have five fixed hours of daily submission which they are enjoined to fulfill with grace and dedication. They fast the whole month of Ramadhan. They pay their tithes. They save (or use their CPF) and go to Mecca.
They understand that others consume liquor, gamble or reveal their private selves, (either whole or part thereof), and they are to resist from being party to such cultural habituations.
They are enjoined to do and earn a living like all others, and to do well, but must forsake them if compelled to be impious.
They must be obedient and honour all working rules, but must seek for dispensation (not favour, for this "seeking for dispensation" is a religious responsibility) after which, if the rules have to remain, they must desist or leave if human rules have to become sacrosanct.
They must respect leaders, supervisors, seniors and other humans as an act of religious piety, but must opt away from persons of position who are unjust or dispense no mutual respect.
All these virtuous differences have now become incongruities, bringing disdain to the faithfuls who choose to honour them.
Decorations For Malay Muslim New Year Celebration, Republic of Singapore
All Singaporeans must partake in things that do us honour and bring prosperity to our country. Don't exclude or chide the growing number of highly educated Muslims (especially female Muslim professionals and workers, and innocent students) if they chose to be pious. Don't say that they do not cherish integration.
I dread the day when all female Singaporeans are called to do National Service, for in that setting we will see the cataclysmic oddity of "integration" for in that setting we will need a more profound concept to manage two different sets of compulsory demands: the national and the religious.
Or even, in our ordinary lives, we have so many good Malay, Muslim, Chinese, Indian, and Eurasian neighbours, colleagues, subordinates, trustees. It pains me if my friends from other cultures and religions maim their previously untainted trust and benevolence to me with this dreadfully wrong meaning of "integration".
Mansor Hj Sukaimi
Neptune Court
Republic of Singapore
27 February 2002
nurysingapore@pacific.net.sg
By Mansor Hj Sukaimi, Republic of Singapore
Aerial view of Singapore
Introduction: Singapore is a small island country in Southeast Asia. The majority of Singapore's people are Chinese. Malays make up a significant minority group. Most Malays are Muslim. Almost all the people live in the capital, which also has the name of Singapore. The capital is a crowded, bustling center of trade, finance, and manufacturing. However, the Chinese-dominated regime has banned various Islamic practices, including the wearing of hijab by schoolgirls, citing the need for "racial unity" or "integration."
Tudung Issue
The tudung (hijab, or Islamic headscarf) issue has given a special significance to the meaning of "integration" in our multi-racial and religious society.
Then … reports of new but related issues crop up: that students are not allowed to solat in school premises, … male students cannot leave early for Friday Solat, … Muslim staff are not allowed to wear tudung in work places ~ raising the imperatives of integration to higher heights of national security and common concern of all Singaporeans.
Mythical "If's"
If these issues were customs ingrained in all cultures and therefore become instantly relevant to all, not just Muslims, the rationale would be clear cut.
If these issues pertained to practices that had never existed, or never allowed, the merit of unaggrieved and quiet compliance would be obvious.
If September 11 had never occurred and the consequential anti-Islamic-terrorist fervour was not Bush'ed, the issues would become mundane matters just like Keeping Singapore Clean, having good manners in the public, proper queuing at MRT, submitting income tax-returns on time, coming to work on time.
If these issues did not concern profound matters of piety, all Muslims would harbour no deep umbrage.
If measures to resolve them were done with substantive knowledge, magnanimity and the usual cross-culture respect and charity, the facility of execution and compliance would have been more assured.
Now, we have a thorny scenario as all these "IF's" are mere fantasies.
INTEGRATION: The Misused Word
"Integration" takes a new meaning and gets distorted because (if we remove all the chaffs and the pleasantries) the onus of integrating essentially rests with the Muslims. Kindness from others will help, but the Muslims will be the ones who are expected to adjust. They are to come out and mix around. They have to give up something dear to them.
Facade of Sultan Mosque, Republic of Singapore
More severely, many leaders, writers to press, heads of departments, principals of schools, community leaders, and even men and women on the street are prone to using "need for integration" in a manner that puts Muslims at fault. Even the endearing MP Irene Ng gets confused between the "right to be different" and the "habituation to be pious"!
There has never been real integration in Singapore in its extant form and all of us have lived well, despite our differences. At policy levels and in security domains, Muslims and Malays have understood (but not consented) the many different rules applying to different people ~ and Singaporeans had had no national calamity. I mean severe differences that affect the lives, self-respect and well-being of one community, while other communities earn untold benefits from that one-community exclusion policy and practices.
Notwithstanding all these, the Malays in particular, and the Muslims in general, have been tolerant, compliant and not adamant, give or take a minute percentage of those who feel strong enough to do different things.
This concept of "integration" must change. It risks becoming a chimera, a wild or impossible fancy. It must be changed with magnanimity, the benevolence in respecting differences, especially on matters of deep-seated feelings and fundamentals of piety. It must be driven by continuing commitment to standing of citizenry, attributes of merit, abundance of cultural wealth, and conscious desire to be fair.
The Muslims have a spectrum of virtuous fabric that makes them different:
They submit to One God and endear to the Final Prophet. They have five fixed hours of daily submission which they are enjoined to fulfill with grace and dedication. They fast the whole month of Ramadhan. They pay their tithes. They save (or use their CPF) and go to Mecca.
They understand that others consume liquor, gamble or reveal their private selves, (either whole or part thereof), and they are to resist from being party to such cultural habituations.
They are enjoined to do and earn a living like all others, and to do well, but must forsake them if compelled to be impious.
They must be obedient and honour all working rules, but must seek for dispensation (not favour, for this "seeking for dispensation" is a religious responsibility) after which, if the rules have to remain, they must desist or leave if human rules have to become sacrosanct.
They must respect leaders, supervisors, seniors and other humans as an act of religious piety, but must opt away from persons of position who are unjust or dispense no mutual respect.
All these virtuous differences have now become incongruities, bringing disdain to the faithfuls who choose to honour them.
Decorations For Malay Muslim New Year Celebration, Republic of Singapore
All Singaporeans must partake in things that do us honour and bring prosperity to our country. Don't exclude or chide the growing number of highly educated Muslims (especially female Muslim professionals and workers, and innocent students) if they chose to be pious. Don't say that they do not cherish integration.
I dread the day when all female Singaporeans are called to do National Service, for in that setting we will see the cataclysmic oddity of "integration" for in that setting we will need a more profound concept to manage two different sets of compulsory demands: the national and the religious.
Or even, in our ordinary lives, we have so many good Malay, Muslim, Chinese, Indian, and Eurasian neighbours, colleagues, subordinates, trustees. It pains me if my friends from other cultures and religions maim their previously untainted trust and benevolence to me with this dreadfully wrong meaning of "integration".
Mansor Hj Sukaimi
Neptune Court
Republic of Singapore
27 February 2002
nurysingapore@pacific.net.sg
'Bikini Liberation' of Afghan Women
'Bikini Liberation' of Afghan Women
By Yamin Zakaria
Reprinted from Media Monitors Network, http://usa.mediamonitors.net/
First published Wednesday 29 October 2003 as "'Liberating' the Afghan Women"
Are we now to believe that a lone Afghan woman in a bikini – as exemplified by Miss Afghanistan, a Kabul-born student in California who last week participated in a Manila beauty contest - is a symbol of progress, simply for having removed the "oppressive" veil? It could have been her promotion to become a university professor, a doctor, lawyer, or successful entrepreneur. But no! The transformation had to involve removing her clothes, in order for the western-dominated mass media to demonstrate to the rest of the world that the liberation of the Afghan woman has begun.
Since the removal of the Taliban, the honorable women of Afghanistan have not rushed to exchange their veils for bikinis – hence the media's attempt to kick-start the process. But why is it that in the West, particularly the Jerry Springer nation, degrees of female nudity are automatically equated with liberation? To what or whom can we attribute such profound and enlightened ideas? And why was the advent of the Chippendales not greeted by applause for male liberation?
One can understand the current frustration of the western intelligentsia. Iraq has not worked out so well: no WMDs to date, foreign soldiers are still viewed as occupiers rather than liberators, oil is not being pumped for the convenience of the US administration, and there are reports (for example from Britain's Charity Commission) of Iraq's oil resources being misused. In Afghanistan, the picture is equally grim: the Taliban are creeping in, and opium production is on the increase, along with crime and lawlessness. Women face the threat of kidnap and rape with far greater ease and frequency than before. Western commentators have forgotten that before any talk of political rights, one needs to ensure security and the basic amenities for survival.
Despite the fall of the Taliban, there has been no great social upheaval in Afghanistan, and the veil continues to flourish as the norm rather than the exception. Hence, despite the televising of this lone, bikini-clad woman, the vast majority of women in Afghanistan, even under President Hamid Karzai, do not want to abandon the veil for the bikini. Indeed, it is not just in the world of the Taliban that Islam – along with the veil - is embraced. But one Muslim woman in a bikini blurs all that.
So what is the thinking here? If a woman is described as progressive for exchanging the veil for a mini-skirt, then surely a move to complete nudity would be welcomed as the peak of progress. Yet total nudity is an offense under the laws of most western countries. Equally, a career path that begins with the bikini can easily move next to the beauty contest and then modeling, which itself can move seamlessly from topless to full nudity, and thence, even, to the porn industry. And there you have it: a career path for the liberation of Afghan women.
The impact of these liberal values on wider society is easily discerned in the sexual behavior of young people in the West. A cursory glance at British TV programming reveals teenagers" casual attitude to sex – much assisted by drugs and alcohol - whether at home or on holiday in Spain, Greece, or any other sunny spot.
What's the consequence? The liberation of women (and men) has led to western-oriented societies becoming more volatile, torn apart by the rise of single-parent families, soaring divorce rates, and increased dependencies on alcohol, drugs and anti-depressants. Increasingly, children are born without knowing the identity of their father and in some cases even their mother. An estimated 33% of the population of the United States is illegitimate, with similar numbers in many European countries. Sexual abuse of children is not uncommon. Ageing parents are cast aside by their children, perceived as too great a burden.
So why is it that those societies that raise the flag of women's rights end up only facilitating the selling of her flesh, be it in the form of lewd pop videos, the fashion industry, advertising or elsewhere, and then end up calling it "liberation"?
In the international arena, such liberal values – and poorly defined ones at that - are increasingly imposed through the weight of western-controlled institutions (such as the United Nations, as well as non-governmental organizations funded by the West), under the pretext of promoting so-called universal values and human rights. These are, in fact, ever-changing parameters of right and wrong: like the notion of a "war on terrorism", these are vague concepts and are meant to remain so. As they say, politicians never give a straight answer - they always like to keep their options open. That is, their opportunities for manipulation, dishonesty, and hypocrisy.
Nonetheless, a clearly discernible trend is now emerging in the western mass media. The venue for a recent world beauty contest was initially to be Nigeria, a Muslim majority country. Following widespread protests, and many deaths, the contest was shifted to Turkey, another Muslim country – and, surprise, a Turkish woman won. No doubt it was another attempt to kick-start that shift from veil to bikini.
Finally, it is just worth noting that anyone with an offensive argument against Islam/Muslims is immediately given recognition and publicity. We have had Taslima Nasreen, Salman Rushdie, Najib Mahfuz, all of whom gained instant fame (and notoriety) for their attacks. More recently, we have seen open discussion in the media of the possibility that the Iranian lawyer recently awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Shireen Ibadi, was selected for her perceived stance against Islamic values. Then we had a verbal attack against Islam by senior US General William Boykin ignored under the pretext of freedom of speech, while a perceived anti-Semitic remark by Malaysian President Muhammad Mahathir sends the western mass media into hysteria.
The same criticisms apply to the apparently secular-minded members of the Muslim community who are simply armchair critics of Islam without offering any real solutions – for example on the question of how to organize relations between the sexes. Question them on a specific issue and see how vague the answer is - that is if you can get an answer. Likewise, ask them about women's liberation... and watch how quickly the flag of liberation drops when you invite them to apply their proposals to their own households.
Yamin Zakaria is a writer and human rights campaigner. Courtesy of Media Monitors Network
Footnote: Miss Afghanistan, Vida Samadzai, lost the contest to Miss Honduras, but did get a special award at the beauty contest held in the Philippines – "Miss Earth Beauties for a Cause."
By Yamin Zakaria
Reprinted from Media Monitors Network, http://usa.mediamonitors.net/
First published Wednesday 29 October 2003 as "'Liberating' the Afghan Women"
Are we now to believe that a lone Afghan woman in a bikini – as exemplified by Miss Afghanistan, a Kabul-born student in California who last week participated in a Manila beauty contest - is a symbol of progress, simply for having removed the "oppressive" veil? It could have been her promotion to become a university professor, a doctor, lawyer, or successful entrepreneur. But no! The transformation had to involve removing her clothes, in order for the western-dominated mass media to demonstrate to the rest of the world that the liberation of the Afghan woman has begun.
Since the removal of the Taliban, the honorable women of Afghanistan have not rushed to exchange their veils for bikinis – hence the media's attempt to kick-start the process. But why is it that in the West, particularly the Jerry Springer nation, degrees of female nudity are automatically equated with liberation? To what or whom can we attribute such profound and enlightened ideas? And why was the advent of the Chippendales not greeted by applause for male liberation?
One can understand the current frustration of the western intelligentsia. Iraq has not worked out so well: no WMDs to date, foreign soldiers are still viewed as occupiers rather than liberators, oil is not being pumped for the convenience of the US administration, and there are reports (for example from Britain's Charity Commission) of Iraq's oil resources being misused. In Afghanistan, the picture is equally grim: the Taliban are creeping in, and opium production is on the increase, along with crime and lawlessness. Women face the threat of kidnap and rape with far greater ease and frequency than before. Western commentators have forgotten that before any talk of political rights, one needs to ensure security and the basic amenities for survival.
Despite the fall of the Taliban, there has been no great social upheaval in Afghanistan, and the veil continues to flourish as the norm rather than the exception. Hence, despite the televising of this lone, bikini-clad woman, the vast majority of women in Afghanistan, even under President Hamid Karzai, do not want to abandon the veil for the bikini. Indeed, it is not just in the world of the Taliban that Islam – along with the veil - is embraced. But one Muslim woman in a bikini blurs all that.
So what is the thinking here? If a woman is described as progressive for exchanging the veil for a mini-skirt, then surely a move to complete nudity would be welcomed as the peak of progress. Yet total nudity is an offense under the laws of most western countries. Equally, a career path that begins with the bikini can easily move next to the beauty contest and then modeling, which itself can move seamlessly from topless to full nudity, and thence, even, to the porn industry. And there you have it: a career path for the liberation of Afghan women.
The impact of these liberal values on wider society is easily discerned in the sexual behavior of young people in the West. A cursory glance at British TV programming reveals teenagers" casual attitude to sex – much assisted by drugs and alcohol - whether at home or on holiday in Spain, Greece, or any other sunny spot.
What's the consequence? The liberation of women (and men) has led to western-oriented societies becoming more volatile, torn apart by the rise of single-parent families, soaring divorce rates, and increased dependencies on alcohol, drugs and anti-depressants. Increasingly, children are born without knowing the identity of their father and in some cases even their mother. An estimated 33% of the population of the United States is illegitimate, with similar numbers in many European countries. Sexual abuse of children is not uncommon. Ageing parents are cast aside by their children, perceived as too great a burden.
So why is it that those societies that raise the flag of women's rights end up only facilitating the selling of her flesh, be it in the form of lewd pop videos, the fashion industry, advertising or elsewhere, and then end up calling it "liberation"?
In the international arena, such liberal values – and poorly defined ones at that - are increasingly imposed through the weight of western-controlled institutions (such as the United Nations, as well as non-governmental organizations funded by the West), under the pretext of promoting so-called universal values and human rights. These are, in fact, ever-changing parameters of right and wrong: like the notion of a "war on terrorism", these are vague concepts and are meant to remain so. As they say, politicians never give a straight answer - they always like to keep their options open. That is, their opportunities for manipulation, dishonesty, and hypocrisy.
Nonetheless, a clearly discernible trend is now emerging in the western mass media. The venue for a recent world beauty contest was initially to be Nigeria, a Muslim majority country. Following widespread protests, and many deaths, the contest was shifted to Turkey, another Muslim country – and, surprise, a Turkish woman won. No doubt it was another attempt to kick-start that shift from veil to bikini.
Finally, it is just worth noting that anyone with an offensive argument against Islam/Muslims is immediately given recognition and publicity. We have had Taslima Nasreen, Salman Rushdie, Najib Mahfuz, all of whom gained instant fame (and notoriety) for their attacks. More recently, we have seen open discussion in the media of the possibility that the Iranian lawyer recently awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Shireen Ibadi, was selected for her perceived stance against Islamic values. Then we had a verbal attack against Islam by senior US General William Boykin ignored under the pretext of freedom of speech, while a perceived anti-Semitic remark by Malaysian President Muhammad Mahathir sends the western mass media into hysteria.
The same criticisms apply to the apparently secular-minded members of the Muslim community who are simply armchair critics of Islam without offering any real solutions – for example on the question of how to organize relations between the sexes. Question them on a specific issue and see how vague the answer is - that is if you can get an answer. Likewise, ask them about women's liberation... and watch how quickly the flag of liberation drops when you invite them to apply their proposals to their own households.
Yamin Zakaria is a writer and human rights campaigner. Courtesy of Media Monitors Network
Footnote: Miss Afghanistan, Vida Samadzai, lost the contest to Miss Honduras, but did get a special award at the beauty contest held in the Philippines – "Miss Earth Beauties for a Cause."
Don't Look Down
Don't Look Down
Making the Decision to Wear Hejab
By Shaden Mohamed
My decision to wear the hejab was sudden, yet expected. I had been thinking about it for a few months, but never actually worked up the courage to take the leap of faith (so to speak). I always made excuses - my career, my friends, my wardrobe! All of which were validated by my peers, who reassured me and others that the hejab was a personal choice made only when we as women were ready for it.
Well what the heck does that mean?! When would I be ready? When I lost my career, friends and fashion sense?! No sir-ee-bob, this issue needed more thought than I was giving it, and even that was a hard thing to do with everything that was taking place in my life.
And so in time all thought of wearing the hejab dissolved and I went about preparing for my holiday to Thailand over the Xmas break.
I know what most people are thinking - and no, I did not have a near-death experience which made me want to wear the hejab and give up cargo shorts forever.
Actually I was in Bangkok at the time of the wave, which I had escaped when I left Phuket 2 days earlier. Apart from a tremor in my hotel, and running down 31 levels to safety, I was safe and sound in Sydney just in time to celebrate new year's eve with some friends and to recuperate before starting work again in a few days time.
And so my time away from home was perhaps what made my decision more premeditated than I had thought.
Away from all pressures and influences, with only time to dwell on my own thoughts, I thought about what I wanted in life. And I succeeded in coming home with 5% more knowledge about myself.
Part of that was releasing the anxiety that was caused by my environment. I thought "Stuff it, I'm doing what I want and dealing with the circumstances as they arise" (by the way, I am yet to face any "circumstances" - the only thing I was truly worried about was my own self-image.
No one will ever say: "Oh my God what have you done! You will be an outcast forever!" the only person who ever came close to saying that aloud was me).
After all, with more and more women becoming more dedicated to Islam, if I had waited any longer I would have been the outcast. So to all you women out there, "thinking" about your hejab options - don't look down, just jump and Allah will catch you.
Shaden Mohamed is in her 20's. Of Egyptian background, she was born and bred in Sydney, Australia, where she attained a degree in Media & Communications. She also writes Zawaj.com's Egyptian Tales column.
Making the Decision to Wear Hejab
By Shaden Mohamed
My decision to wear the hejab was sudden, yet expected. I had been thinking about it for a few months, but never actually worked up the courage to take the leap of faith (so to speak). I always made excuses - my career, my friends, my wardrobe! All of which were validated by my peers, who reassured me and others that the hejab was a personal choice made only when we as women were ready for it.
Well what the heck does that mean?! When would I be ready? When I lost my career, friends and fashion sense?! No sir-ee-bob, this issue needed more thought than I was giving it, and even that was a hard thing to do with everything that was taking place in my life.
And so in time all thought of wearing the hejab dissolved and I went about preparing for my holiday to Thailand over the Xmas break.
I know what most people are thinking - and no, I did not have a near-death experience which made me want to wear the hejab and give up cargo shorts forever.
Actually I was in Bangkok at the time of the wave, which I had escaped when I left Phuket 2 days earlier. Apart from a tremor in my hotel, and running down 31 levels to safety, I was safe and sound in Sydney just in time to celebrate new year's eve with some friends and to recuperate before starting work again in a few days time.
And so my time away from home was perhaps what made my decision more premeditated than I had thought.
Away from all pressures and influences, with only time to dwell on my own thoughts, I thought about what I wanted in life. And I succeeded in coming home with 5% more knowledge about myself.
Part of that was releasing the anxiety that was caused by my environment. I thought "Stuff it, I'm doing what I want and dealing with the circumstances as they arise" (by the way, I am yet to face any "circumstances" - the only thing I was truly worried about was my own self-image.
No one will ever say: "Oh my God what have you done! You will be an outcast forever!" the only person who ever came close to saying that aloud was me).
After all, with more and more women becoming more dedicated to Islam, if I had waited any longer I would have been the outcast. So to all you women out there, "thinking" about your hejab options - don't look down, just jump and Allah will catch you.
Shaden Mohamed is in her 20's. Of Egyptian background, she was born and bred in Sydney, Australia, where she attained a degree in Media & Communications. She also writes Zawaj.com's Egyptian Tales column.
Muslim Women in Japan
Muslim Women in Japan
From the Japan Times, Thursday, November 19, 1992
Transcribed and posted to the web by Ahmed Biyabani - comments in square brackets are his
Marriages lead women into Islam
By Lynne Y. Nakano, Staff Writer
"Aysha" Abid Choudry - her given name is Harumi - adopted her Muslim name and faith four years ago, at the age of 26, to marry a Pakistani. Two years later, like many Japanese women married to Muslim men in Japan, she remained reluctant to abide by Islamic laws.
Then one day about two years ago, she decided to act on her own intuition that Islam meant having a personal relationship with Allah. She got on her knees to pray for the first time. Her husband, a devout Muslim who had never asked her to adopt Islam but had parayed silently on her behalf for years, cried openly at the sight.
Once distant and unknown in Japan, Islam has found converts among young Japanese women. Many are married to men who come to Japan to find work from countries with Islamic traditions such as Iran, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Malaysia.
Islamic law mandates that those who intend to marry Muslims must convert, at least in name, to the Islamic faith, according to R. Siddiqi, director of the Islamic Center, Japan (Zawaj.com Editor's Note: since very few Japanese are "People of the Book" - Christian or Jewish - a Japanese woman would have to convert to Islam to become an eligible bride for a Muslim).
A hub of Islamic activity in Tokyo, the Islamic Center in Setagay-ku registered over 80 new members this year, the majority Japanese women.
Although some women converted with no thought of marriage, many more converted to Islam to marry Muslims; the center reports a record number of 40 marriages between foreign Muslims and Japanese women converts this year.
"Women are attracted to Islam because they want freedom. Islam gives them independence because they do not have to be a slave of any man. Islam is against moral aggression against women. The chastity and honor of women are protected. No illicit relations are allowed. All these things attract women," said Siddiqi.
Islamic law also provides that men may have more than one wife. "This cannot seem to leave Japanese heads," said Siddiqi. "We explain one thousand times that marrying four times is permissible only in certain unavoidable circumstances such as impotency, infertility and so forth. As a result there is no prostitution in Islam. If you need another women, then marry her, take care of her children."
Asked why a woman can't have more than one husband, Siddiqi explained, "Because she can't decide on whose child it is. It is confusing for her." (Japanese law uses the same logic, forbidding women to remarry within six months of divorce.)
Japanese women who marry men from Islamic countries often face ostracism from their families and alienation from friends; living by Islamic laws requires major changes in nearly every every aspect of their lives.
The Muslim's daily ritual of prayer (salat) facing Mecca, before sunrise, at noon, mid-afternoon, after sunset, and before sleep, for example, is a major hurdle for anyone who wants to hold onto a steady job. One resourceful young woman who works for a major electronics company in Tokyo manages to pray in the company changing room. [This transcriber, an MIT-Japan Program Intern at another major elctronics company, Sharp, finds that prayer is no hurdle to holding onto a steady job.]
The new Muslim must also make major changes in her diet. Muslims who strictly follow the Qur'an may not consume pork, alcoholic beverages and animal products that have not been blessed.
Juices and tsukemono may contain preservatives with low levels of alcohol; chocolate, ice cream, cakes and other processed desserts may contain animal fats, and gelatins may be made from animal bones.
Although blessed (halal) products have become increasingly available from shops that specialize in halal or imported products, many basic products sold in supermarkets are off limits to the Muslim.
"At first it was hard to know what foods were permitted, so a group of us got together and called the soy sauce, juice and pastry manufacturers to find out exactly which products were alright and which were not. We made a big checklist and that information had spread by word of mouth," Aysha said.
Another woman married to a Pakistani says, "It's not a problem. There's a store selling halal food that we order from in Saitama and we eat fish. As for cakes and juices, I usually make my own."
The most obvious symbol of the Muslim woman is the veil (hijab) that covers her head, and the long sleeves, and pants that cover her limbs. Countries have variations on this; Saudi women cover the nose and mouth as well, while Malaysian Muslims [women] wear short scarves over their heads.
An energetic face framed within her black hijab, Aysha says, "I wasn't born a Muslim, so I'm strict (about Islam). Before I became a Muslim, I was the secretary to a company president so I drank alcohol, played, wore miniskirts, everything. After I became a Muslim, everything changed. I threw away or gave away five bags of clothing. To become a good Muslim takes time, though."
Although strict Islamic life may not be incongrous with lifestyles with lifestyles in Saudi Arabia or Iran, in Japan, Islam means accepting a life radically different from the ordinary Japanese. Perhaps, for some, herein lies the appeal.
"Before I became a Muslim I didn't know what I was put here on earth for. I though that the purpose of working was to make other people think highly of me. I beleived that a person's worth was based on what university he went to and how much money he made. Now I know that work is to nourish my body and I am here to live each day to praise Allah," said a woman in her 20's married to a Pakistani truck driver.
Others, like Noureen, a 30-year-old teacher of nursing at a women's university in Saitama, had tried other religions, including Christianity, which she found unsatisfying before finding Islam. She met her husband, a 29-year-old Pakistani factory worker, while attending study sessions at the Islamic Center (their trip home took them in the same direction) and officially became a Muslim before their marriage four years ago.
She and her husband agree that Islam comes first and work comes second, When the nurse's uniform and the hospital environment interfered with the practice of Islam, "My husband told me that I should change jobs if I couldn't be a good Muslim at my own pace."
Many more Muslims in Japan, however, find that they need to compromise their religion to the realities of life in Japan. A 28-year old editor at a small publishing compnay admits that she doesn't wear a veil except when she meets with other Muslim women, and that her Ramadan [Islamic month of fasting] fasts were broken when colleagues urger her to partake of a birthday cake.
Also, for many Muslims in Japan who open Indian restaurants, serving alcohol is a painful dilemma. Although prohibited by the Qur'an, it is all but impossible to run a restaurant in Japan without it.
While adult Muslims may somehow overcome the difficulties of living under Islamic law in Japan, for children it is virtually impossible. [I beg to differ - see below.]
Noureen hasn't seen their 2-year-old son for six months since they sent him to Pakistan to live with his grandparents to receive a true Islamic upbringing.
[An Iraqi friend's cousin in married to a Japanese man and as far as I know their shogakko-age (elementary school) children stay with them in Japan.]
She tried sending him to a nursery for a year in Japan and asked the staff not to feed him. Still she worried that he might be taking food from other children. "When he gets older, we would have to worry about him attending birthday and Christams parties and it would be sad for him and hard for him to make friends.
At present there are no Islamic schools in Japan. Noureen says, "The problem is not just food, it's the concept: In Japan people think their body is their own, and that a child should stay up all night studying and only think about exams.
"But we believe that one's body belongs to God and should be treated with respect."
From the Japan Times, Thursday, November 19, 1992
Transcribed and posted to the web by Ahmed Biyabani - comments in square brackets are his
Marriages lead women into Islam
By Lynne Y. Nakano, Staff Writer
"Aysha" Abid Choudry - her given name is Harumi - adopted her Muslim name and faith four years ago, at the age of 26, to marry a Pakistani. Two years later, like many Japanese women married to Muslim men in Japan, she remained reluctant to abide by Islamic laws.
Then one day about two years ago, she decided to act on her own intuition that Islam meant having a personal relationship with Allah. She got on her knees to pray for the first time. Her husband, a devout Muslim who had never asked her to adopt Islam but had parayed silently on her behalf for years, cried openly at the sight.
Once distant and unknown in Japan, Islam has found converts among young Japanese women. Many are married to men who come to Japan to find work from countries with Islamic traditions such as Iran, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Malaysia.
Islamic law mandates that those who intend to marry Muslims must convert, at least in name, to the Islamic faith, according to R. Siddiqi, director of the Islamic Center, Japan (Zawaj.com Editor's Note: since very few Japanese are "People of the Book" - Christian or Jewish - a Japanese woman would have to convert to Islam to become an eligible bride for a Muslim).
A hub of Islamic activity in Tokyo, the Islamic Center in Setagay-ku registered over 80 new members this year, the majority Japanese women.
Although some women converted with no thought of marriage, many more converted to Islam to marry Muslims; the center reports a record number of 40 marriages between foreign Muslims and Japanese women converts this year.
"Women are attracted to Islam because they want freedom. Islam gives them independence because they do not have to be a slave of any man. Islam is against moral aggression against women. The chastity and honor of women are protected. No illicit relations are allowed. All these things attract women," said Siddiqi.
Islamic law also provides that men may have more than one wife. "This cannot seem to leave Japanese heads," said Siddiqi. "We explain one thousand times that marrying four times is permissible only in certain unavoidable circumstances such as impotency, infertility and so forth. As a result there is no prostitution in Islam. If you need another women, then marry her, take care of her children."
Asked why a woman can't have more than one husband, Siddiqi explained, "Because she can't decide on whose child it is. It is confusing for her." (Japanese law uses the same logic, forbidding women to remarry within six months of divorce.)
Japanese women who marry men from Islamic countries often face ostracism from their families and alienation from friends; living by Islamic laws requires major changes in nearly every every aspect of their lives.
The Muslim's daily ritual of prayer (salat) facing Mecca, before sunrise, at noon, mid-afternoon, after sunset, and before sleep, for example, is a major hurdle for anyone who wants to hold onto a steady job. One resourceful young woman who works for a major electronics company in Tokyo manages to pray in the company changing room. [This transcriber, an MIT-Japan Program Intern at another major elctronics company, Sharp, finds that prayer is no hurdle to holding onto a steady job.]
The new Muslim must also make major changes in her diet. Muslims who strictly follow the Qur'an may not consume pork, alcoholic beverages and animal products that have not been blessed.
Juices and tsukemono may contain preservatives with low levels of alcohol; chocolate, ice cream, cakes and other processed desserts may contain animal fats, and gelatins may be made from animal bones.
Although blessed (halal) products have become increasingly available from shops that specialize in halal or imported products, many basic products sold in supermarkets are off limits to the Muslim.
"At first it was hard to know what foods were permitted, so a group of us got together and called the soy sauce, juice and pastry manufacturers to find out exactly which products were alright and which were not. We made a big checklist and that information had spread by word of mouth," Aysha said.
Another woman married to a Pakistani says, "It's not a problem. There's a store selling halal food that we order from in Saitama and we eat fish. As for cakes and juices, I usually make my own."
The most obvious symbol of the Muslim woman is the veil (hijab) that covers her head, and the long sleeves, and pants that cover her limbs. Countries have variations on this; Saudi women cover the nose and mouth as well, while Malaysian Muslims [women] wear short scarves over their heads.
An energetic face framed within her black hijab, Aysha says, "I wasn't born a Muslim, so I'm strict (about Islam). Before I became a Muslim, I was the secretary to a company president so I drank alcohol, played, wore miniskirts, everything. After I became a Muslim, everything changed. I threw away or gave away five bags of clothing. To become a good Muslim takes time, though."
Although strict Islamic life may not be incongrous with lifestyles with lifestyles in Saudi Arabia or Iran, in Japan, Islam means accepting a life radically different from the ordinary Japanese. Perhaps, for some, herein lies the appeal.
"Before I became a Muslim I didn't know what I was put here on earth for. I though that the purpose of working was to make other people think highly of me. I beleived that a person's worth was based on what university he went to and how much money he made. Now I know that work is to nourish my body and I am here to live each day to praise Allah," said a woman in her 20's married to a Pakistani truck driver.
Others, like Noureen, a 30-year-old teacher of nursing at a women's university in Saitama, had tried other religions, including Christianity, which she found unsatisfying before finding Islam. She met her husband, a 29-year-old Pakistani factory worker, while attending study sessions at the Islamic Center (their trip home took them in the same direction) and officially became a Muslim before their marriage four years ago.
She and her husband agree that Islam comes first and work comes second, When the nurse's uniform and the hospital environment interfered with the practice of Islam, "My husband told me that I should change jobs if I couldn't be a good Muslim at my own pace."
Many more Muslims in Japan, however, find that they need to compromise their religion to the realities of life in Japan. A 28-year old editor at a small publishing compnay admits that she doesn't wear a veil except when she meets with other Muslim women, and that her Ramadan [Islamic month of fasting] fasts were broken when colleagues urger her to partake of a birthday cake.
Also, for many Muslims in Japan who open Indian restaurants, serving alcohol is a painful dilemma. Although prohibited by the Qur'an, it is all but impossible to run a restaurant in Japan without it.
While adult Muslims may somehow overcome the difficulties of living under Islamic law in Japan, for children it is virtually impossible. [I beg to differ - see below.]
Noureen hasn't seen their 2-year-old son for six months since they sent him to Pakistan to live with his grandparents to receive a true Islamic upbringing.
[An Iraqi friend's cousin in married to a Japanese man and as far as I know their shogakko-age (elementary school) children stay with them in Japan.]
She tried sending him to a nursery for a year in Japan and asked the staff not to feed him. Still she worried that he might be taking food from other children. "When he gets older, we would have to worry about him attending birthday and Christams parties and it would be sad for him and hard for him to make friends.
At present there are no Islamic schools in Japan. Noureen says, "The problem is not just food, it's the concept: In Japan people think their body is their own, and that a child should stay up all night studying and only think about exams.
"But we believe that one's body belongs to God and should be treated with respect."
An Interview With The Wife Of Shaheed Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash
An Interview With The Wife Of Shaheed Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash
Ad-Da'wah Magazine, Issue 109, Muharram 1422
The following is the translated text of an interview from the Arabic Ad-Da`wah Magazine with the wife of the Egyptian shaheed (martyr) Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash. It is often said that behind every great man, is a great and strong woman, to support him, in the same way that Khadijah, (radi'Allaahu 'anha) supported and strengthened the beloved Messenger Muhammad (saw) throughout his call to Laa ilaaha illa Allaah; in the same way that Asmaa bint Abi Bakr encouraged and strengthened her son 'Abdullaah ibn az-Zubair; in the same way that many of the mothers and wives of the Mujahideen and Shuhadaa' have been a constant pillar of support for them. So let this be an inspiration for those sisters who wish to tread this path of sacrifice, an inspiration for the wives and mothers of the future du'aat and 'ulema, and the Mujaddideen and Mujahideen. (Introduction from AbuZubair.com's newsletter).
We would like to have a brief introduction to the life of your husband Yusuf Hawwaash.
My husband is Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash (May Allah have mercy upon him). He was born on the 12th of October 1922. He achieved a diploma from Industrial Schools in 1943. He joined the Ikhwaan (Muslim Brotherhood), during his studies in the Gharbiyyah province. He married me in 1953 and I had from him two children, Ahmad and Sumayyah, they are both now doctors, and each has four children, both male and female.
How did your marriage start?
One of the brothers recommended me to him as a wife, to help him carry the burden of the da`wah. And he remained for a whole year, whenever he meets my brother, saying "We are still on our agreement", but he did not propose because of problems his family was going through. At the end of the year, I told my brother to inform him that this matter was over. Indeed we ended the matter, then another brother came to propose to me, but then he [Muhammad] returned, to reiterate his request anew. So I refused, and my brother advised me to pray Salaat-ul-Istikhaarah. When I prayed, I saw myself in the reception of our house in the village, and there was no lighting. Then a bright lamp was hanging in front of me, in the shape of his face, so I agreed and the contract was made. He later told me that when he made Istikhaarah, he saw me making wudoo' with him pouring the water for me, and even though it was no much water, I did it well.
Imprisonment and Marriage
Your husband was imprisoned more than once during the beginning of your married life, so how did this situation pass?
He was imprisoned after the `Aqd [marriae contract], then when he was released, we married and stayed together for one year, then he was imprisoned in 1954 and after the sentence was passed, he gave me the choice of staying with him or divorce. So I reprimanded him harshly, and informed him of something he did not know. That once during our engagement, he was giving a talk in one of the open gatherings, and he fell unconscious, and was taken to hospital. Then we found that one of his kidneys was severely damaged, because of an old illness he got when he was imprisoned as a student, in a cell filled with cold water in winter. [At that time] the brothers offered me to cancel [the engagement] if I wanted, but I refused not to be with him on this journey because of this situation that Allah had placed him in during one of his trials.
And when we married in 1953 I bore Sumayyah after ten months of marriage, and afther that by 17 days, the Intelligence came to arrest him, and we used to live in the same block as Anwar As-Sadat, who was the head of the Islamic Conference at the time. And because Muhammad's relationship was good with all those around him, the guards of Sadat warned him as he approached the block, that the Intelligence were inside, so he stayed on the run for a while.
During this time, he came to visit me once, and the guards of Sadat saw him, but did not tell anyone, so he was able to return from where he had come. After this, one of my sisters came, to take me and host me during my husband's absence, but when we came to leave, we found the Intelligence surrounding us, and they wanted to arrest me. So I decided that I would not go with them silently, until I exposed their evil system in front of the people who they had tricked, so I shouted in my highest voice that I would not go with them, whatever they do, and I criticized their actions. So Anwar Sadat came out and asked what was happening, so I replied: "Demeaning of women and invasion of privacy is happening in this black era of yours." So he calmed me down, and told the officer to carry my bags and take me where I wanted. So I said to him: "I am going to the house of your master and the crown over your head, the respected Murshid [the head of Ikwaan, literally: guide]." Indeed, I remained with the wife of the Murshid and his daughters alone in the house, because all the men in his family were in prison, until my husband appeared, and was tried and sentenced to a total of 55 years.
With Sayyid Qutb
It is known that the shaheed Yusuf Hawwaash met his Lord in the same trial as the shaheed Sayyid Qutb, so how was their relationship?
Their relationship probably started after their sentencing in 1955, for he had been given 55 years, and the shaheed Sayyid Qutb 15; both were released in 1964. They remained throughout this period together, whether in prison or in hospital, so the relationship developed and strengthened, for each of them would find with the other, something he needed, so they would complete each other. Muhammad would benefit from and learn, the thought, culture, knowledge and depth of the shaheed Sayyid, while Sayyid would learn about the history of Ikhwaan, their organization, methodology, and anything related to the jamaa`ah from the shaheed Muhammad, because he had joined before him. And so, they were very attached to each other. Muhammad would say: "Every chapter and every phrase in the books of Ustaadh Sayyid, I know when it was written, what the occasion was, and the discussion about it when it appeared as it did."
And Muhammad saw Yusuf (as) [in a vision], while in Leemaan Turah, and Ustaadh Sayyid was writing on Surat-Yusuf in his book Adh-Dhilaal [In the Shade of the Qur'aan], and he [Yusuf (as)] said to him: "Inform Sayyid that the surah has what he is looking for: {Indeed judgement is only for Allah}." And thus they remained until after their martyrdom, the brothers would say: "Indeed it from the mercy of Allah over these two men, that He chose them both for martyrdom together, otherowise one would not be able to be patient with splitting from the other."
The Last Imprisonment
And what of his imprisonment in 1965?
After his release in 1964, I went into hospital for an operation, and after coming out, and being cured by Allah's bounty, he wanted us to spend some time on his father's farm. So I informed him that staying there for a long time was hard on me, especially without a helper to help me with household duties, washing and other things. So he said to me: "You should make dhikr and seek forgiveness during your work, and you will be rewarded, and have patience and ihtisaab [looking to your reward in the hereafter], in being good to your relatives." So I agreed, and we traveled. And on one of the days straight after our travel, he informed me that he would pray two rak`ahs, until the food was prepared, and he continuously prayed from nine in the morning to two in the afternoon. Whenever I opened the door, I would find him praying and crying. Until we heard a bang at the door of the house, and found it was the Intelligence. So I opened the door to his room, and informed him that the Intelligence were there, and that he should finish his prayer and see them. And he did just that. They tried to take him with them, but he asked them to leave him until he could make ghusl. He then asked me extensively for a mushaf [copy of the Qur'aan], but I did not have except the one which I had written a small message to Ahmad [the son] and was going to give him as a present. So he promised me that it would return to me even if it had to go to Mars and back, so I gave it to him.
Then the oppression of the regime began to increase in harshness. For after I had been transferred from a headmistress to a teacher, then from one province to another, then from normal teaching to special needs, in his first period of imprisonment, the Intelligence started their campaign to imprison me. Until eventually, they achieved what they wanted and I was imprisoned for six months in Al-Qanaatir prison, which I spent in constant nazeef [bleeding], until I had an operation to remove my womb after that. And so, I did not attend except the sentencing. When he saw me in my weak state, he informed me that he did not know of my imprisonment, until the dogs had ripped his clothes, and he had sent for clothes from the house, and so Ahmad gave the guard old clothes so that they would not steal the new clothes. And when he saw them, he knew that I was not in the house.
One painful situation was when my sister bore a daughter, and (my son) Ahmad asked me to have for him a sister, and he would nag and cry, so I said: "Your father has to be here," and when we went to visit his father, he kept crying and pulling him saying: "Come with me father to the house, and mum can have a sister for me. Who is stopping you? Him?" and he pointed to the guard, "Don't be scared of him, I will hit him, and you come with me," until he made me cry, and made the guards cry.
The Moments of Farewell
Describe to us the final moments of your farewell. how were they?
They asked us to pay the final visit to him, before the carrying out of the sentence, so I took Ahmad and Sumayyah with me. I prepared for him good food, and we went to see him, but they refused to let me take the food it. They kept taking us into a tent to wait for him some time, then taking us to another, until we had been into four tents, and in the end the guards brought him, dragging him in a derogatory manner, and 'threw' him in front of us inside the tent. And Muhammad would say: "I don't know what to be regretful over? They want me to put forward an apology and regret over what I have done, but what have I done to be regretful over?"
And when I asked the officer to bring in the food, and he refused, Muhammad said to me: "Don't tire yourself, and waste the time that we can spend together. If they bring the food in, then they will insist that I eat now, and I am fasting." Ahmad went and sat on his fathers lap and kept crying saying: "The boys keep saying to me, you whose father wanted to kill Abdul-Nasser". So the shaheed replied to him: "The scales today are reversed, and they will not be corrected today, indeed: {We Shall set up the Scales of Justice for the Day of Judgment}."
He advised me to do good with the children, and I advised him to do good with himself, and the visit ended. On the morning of 29th of August 1966, at [number missing] in the morning, the radio broadcast the news that the sentence had been carried out on the three martyrs. And I was preparing breakfast at the time, so I kept saying [Inna lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji`oon - To Allah we belong, and to Allah we will return], and seeking forgiveness, with my tears not stopping, while no-one was aware of my situation. The murderers were not content with this, and sent for me, and made me sign acceptance that there would not be a janaazah for him, and they gave me his things but Ahmad's mushaf (copy of the Qur'an) was not amongst them.
The Manners of the Shaheed
This great faithfulness to the shaheed and his da`wah. How did it grow in you and what were its reasons?
He (may Allah have mercy on him), was of kind manners. One of his most important attributes was his generosity. The helper who used to work for him once complained to me after the `aqd, that he did not eat from the food that she would prepare, because his house was always open to the brothers who were students, away from home or in hardship. Whether he was there or not, they would come in and eat, wear whatever of his clothes they wished and sometimes take his money, then he would come back and eat cheese and halaawah from the grocers.
Similarly ithaar [preference of others]. He would not accept at all that there could be a misunderstanding between him and his brothers. Just as he was clean in body and manners. He would make ghusl more than five times a day apart from wudoo'.
The Spring of Imaan
Your relationship with the shaheed husband strengthened despite the short time you spent together, so how did you discover these good characteristics in him?
His letters from prison were tarbiyah lessons in `aqeedah, imaan, patience, and steadfastness. They were a provision for me on this path, and here are some examples:
In `eed-ul-fitr he sent to me saying:
"`Eed would come to the sahaabah, and the honourable of them had been martyred, the loved of them had been lost, and they would have been tested in their spouses, parents and children. But all of this would not dampen the happiness of `eed in their souls. In fact this was the real meaning of `eed, effort, work, and sacrifice. So we, with what we are in, are the most rightful of people to celebrate `eed, and the most real in our happiness for what Allah has given us, and for our knowing Him. And to have thankfulness to Allah for it, on this great day. We now taste this deen, and feel it, and we find it in our khalajaat, fresh and soft just like the day it was revealed, alive and beating in our hearts and our blood mixing with it."
Just as he was gentle in feelings, he would place his hand on the place of pain, and would nurse it with softness, and gentle medicine. He says in another letter;
"It is hard on me, while I spend these moments with you, to see on you the signs of struggle and the indications of tiredness, and it is as if the journey has been long, and the hardships heavy. And I do not deny the hardships on this path, and I do not claim that I do not feel its difficulty, for indeed I am a weak human. Except that I feel, and I would like you to feel with me, that on either side of this long path, are oases with shade, that passers-by can relax in, if they tire, and in whose shade travelers can rest whenever the toils of travel take their toll. So would you like that we turn to one of these oases, perhaps we may find in it cool and calm? Then we can take from it water and food, which will help us continue our journey, and finish our travel?"
And here is what he wrote in a copy of the book of Allah which he gave to me as a present:
"In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful,
To you.
To you my wife.
To you oh sister in creed.
To you oh partner in jihad.
To you oh calmness of the soul and mother of the child.
To you oh flower of the heart. To you this great book, upon whose law Allah brought us together as spouses, through which He gathered us as brothers, and in whose path He made us in the ranks of the believers two soldiers.
To you my beloved this grand book, in appreciation, love and faithfulness from your husband. Lest Allah may bring me back to you, and gather us under His aim.
And peace be upon you, and mercy from Allah, and His blessings, and all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
12th Shawwaal 1383
Autumn and the End of the Allotted Time
Aside from these gentle letters, did you hear anything about his life in prison?
Yes, I heard a lot from his brothers speaking about him. One of the brothers had asked him which season as his favorite, and he replied: "Autumn, as the falling of the leaves reminds me of the end of one's allotted time."
He also saw the Prophet (s) more that once, and Yusuf (as) and `Eesaa (as), and he would have true visions. He informed one of his brothers that once in a moment of unonciousness during his sujood during the night, that the cells were opened for them to leave and men from the Intelligence was put in them, and this happened after 1967.
And he saw himself with a group of the sahaabah, giving bay`ah to the Prophet (s), and when his turn came, to give bay`ah, he said: "Oh Messenger of Allah, have we changed things after you? Have we replaced things after you?" So he replied: "No, but you are trustworthy, trustworthy, trustworthy."
His brothers say that if he would become very tired in the queues he would say: "Yes my Lord, how gentle you are." And if they spoke about torture in front of him, he would reply: {Say: Allah, then leave them in their wasteful discourse and trifling} (Al-An`aam:91)
And if they discussed with him the expectations of sentences, he would say: "Indeed these do not judge, and for Allah is judgment, and Allah does not judge except by the truth and those who they call upon beside him, do not judge by anything. What are we and they while in the qabd [grasp] of Allah like an atom? If Allah sees us as worthy of martyrdom, He will choose us for it, and if not, then Allah's qadar will pass us and them."
Visions of Him After His death
We spoke about his visions, so what of your visions of him?
After his martyrdom, I saw myself in the village in which his sister lives, standing behind her house and in front of me, the field extending with no end, as if I was lost. Then a great bird came over the fields, and it was huge in size, then I saw it again, standing on a pole that reached into the sky, and between its feet, my son Ahmad, standing, and pointing me to a path, the end of which I could not see. On it were marching lines of the Ikhwaan, so I went to look at the situation, and I saw the moon, extremely huge, and very bright, at the end of this path.
And after his martyrdom also, his father went to Hajj, and when he returned, I called him to come and lighten the sadness of the children because of the leaving of their father, and I called his other children and grandchildren. But I found him completely ignoring my children and taking interest in the others, and I saw the sadness on the face of my daughter Sumayyah, and I was depressed and unhappy all day. So I slept while I was sad for her, then I saw the shaheed Muhammad bend over next to the bed and say: "Don't be sad, I accept your right."
The Will of a Shaheed
You said that Ahmad's mushaf (copy of the Qur'an) has a story so what is it?
When they imprisoned him in 1965, and he took the mushaf with him, I did not find it in the belongings after his martyrdom. And after twenty years, while we were in Madeenah, in the house of my daughter and her husband, I saw it on the shelves, so I asked my daughter's husband where he got this mushaf from so he said that during his being in the haram, a woman heard his brothers calling him, so she went to him, and said: "Are you so and so?", to which he replied in the affirmative. Then the woman said: "Then wait for me and do not leave until I give you a trust." Then she informed him that her husband had given her this mushaf that he had taken from the shaheed and told her to take it to his relatives. And that this mushaf had been to France, London and Saudi Arabia, until it eventually reached us 20 years later. And I do not think except that Allah has fulfilled the promise of the shaheed.
If I asked you to send him a letter today, what would you say?
I pray to Allah that I am still upon the covenant, and have not changed after you, and that you are now in the levels (of Paradise) of the shuhadaa' and sideeqeen, and that Allah gathers me with you: {They and their wives in groves of shade, reclining on thrones} (Yaa-Seen:56)
Ad-Da'wah Magazine, Issue 109, Muharram 1422
The following is the translated text of an interview from the Arabic Ad-Da`wah Magazine with the wife of the Egyptian shaheed (martyr) Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash. It is often said that behind every great man, is a great and strong woman, to support him, in the same way that Khadijah, (radi'Allaahu 'anha) supported and strengthened the beloved Messenger Muhammad (saw) throughout his call to Laa ilaaha illa Allaah; in the same way that Asmaa bint Abi Bakr encouraged and strengthened her son 'Abdullaah ibn az-Zubair; in the same way that many of the mothers and wives of the Mujahideen and Shuhadaa' have been a constant pillar of support for them. So let this be an inspiration for those sisters who wish to tread this path of sacrifice, an inspiration for the wives and mothers of the future du'aat and 'ulema, and the Mujaddideen and Mujahideen. (Introduction from AbuZubair.com's newsletter).
We would like to have a brief introduction to the life of your husband Yusuf Hawwaash.
My husband is Muhammad Yusuf Hawwaash (May Allah have mercy upon him). He was born on the 12th of October 1922. He achieved a diploma from Industrial Schools in 1943. He joined the Ikhwaan (Muslim Brotherhood), during his studies in the Gharbiyyah province. He married me in 1953 and I had from him two children, Ahmad and Sumayyah, they are both now doctors, and each has four children, both male and female.
How did your marriage start?
One of the brothers recommended me to him as a wife, to help him carry the burden of the da`wah. And he remained for a whole year, whenever he meets my brother, saying "We are still on our agreement", but he did not propose because of problems his family was going through. At the end of the year, I told my brother to inform him that this matter was over. Indeed we ended the matter, then another brother came to propose to me, but then he [Muhammad] returned, to reiterate his request anew. So I refused, and my brother advised me to pray Salaat-ul-Istikhaarah. When I prayed, I saw myself in the reception of our house in the village, and there was no lighting. Then a bright lamp was hanging in front of me, in the shape of his face, so I agreed and the contract was made. He later told me that when he made Istikhaarah, he saw me making wudoo' with him pouring the water for me, and even though it was no much water, I did it well.
Imprisonment and Marriage
Your husband was imprisoned more than once during the beginning of your married life, so how did this situation pass?
He was imprisoned after the `Aqd [marriae contract], then when he was released, we married and stayed together for one year, then he was imprisoned in 1954 and after the sentence was passed, he gave me the choice of staying with him or divorce. So I reprimanded him harshly, and informed him of something he did not know. That once during our engagement, he was giving a talk in one of the open gatherings, and he fell unconscious, and was taken to hospital. Then we found that one of his kidneys was severely damaged, because of an old illness he got when he was imprisoned as a student, in a cell filled with cold water in winter. [At that time] the brothers offered me to cancel [the engagement] if I wanted, but I refused not to be with him on this journey because of this situation that Allah had placed him in during one of his trials.
And when we married in 1953 I bore Sumayyah after ten months of marriage, and afther that by 17 days, the Intelligence came to arrest him, and we used to live in the same block as Anwar As-Sadat, who was the head of the Islamic Conference at the time. And because Muhammad's relationship was good with all those around him, the guards of Sadat warned him as he approached the block, that the Intelligence were inside, so he stayed on the run for a while.
During this time, he came to visit me once, and the guards of Sadat saw him, but did not tell anyone, so he was able to return from where he had come. After this, one of my sisters came, to take me and host me during my husband's absence, but when we came to leave, we found the Intelligence surrounding us, and they wanted to arrest me. So I decided that I would not go with them silently, until I exposed their evil system in front of the people who they had tricked, so I shouted in my highest voice that I would not go with them, whatever they do, and I criticized their actions. So Anwar Sadat came out and asked what was happening, so I replied: "Demeaning of women and invasion of privacy is happening in this black era of yours." So he calmed me down, and told the officer to carry my bags and take me where I wanted. So I said to him: "I am going to the house of your master and the crown over your head, the respected Murshid [the head of Ikwaan, literally: guide]." Indeed, I remained with the wife of the Murshid and his daughters alone in the house, because all the men in his family were in prison, until my husband appeared, and was tried and sentenced to a total of 55 years.
With Sayyid Qutb
It is known that the shaheed Yusuf Hawwaash met his Lord in the same trial as the shaheed Sayyid Qutb, so how was their relationship?
Their relationship probably started after their sentencing in 1955, for he had been given 55 years, and the shaheed Sayyid Qutb 15; both were released in 1964. They remained throughout this period together, whether in prison or in hospital, so the relationship developed and strengthened, for each of them would find with the other, something he needed, so they would complete each other. Muhammad would benefit from and learn, the thought, culture, knowledge and depth of the shaheed Sayyid, while Sayyid would learn about the history of Ikhwaan, their organization, methodology, and anything related to the jamaa`ah from the shaheed Muhammad, because he had joined before him. And so, they were very attached to each other. Muhammad would say: "Every chapter and every phrase in the books of Ustaadh Sayyid, I know when it was written, what the occasion was, and the discussion about it when it appeared as it did."
And Muhammad saw Yusuf (as) [in a vision], while in Leemaan Turah, and Ustaadh Sayyid was writing on Surat-Yusuf in his book Adh-Dhilaal [In the Shade of the Qur'aan], and he [Yusuf (as)] said to him: "Inform Sayyid that the surah has what he is looking for: {Indeed judgement is only for Allah}." And thus they remained until after their martyrdom, the brothers would say: "Indeed it from the mercy of Allah over these two men, that He chose them both for martyrdom together, otherowise one would not be able to be patient with splitting from the other."
The Last Imprisonment
And what of his imprisonment in 1965?
After his release in 1964, I went into hospital for an operation, and after coming out, and being cured by Allah's bounty, he wanted us to spend some time on his father's farm. So I informed him that staying there for a long time was hard on me, especially without a helper to help me with household duties, washing and other things. So he said to me: "You should make dhikr and seek forgiveness during your work, and you will be rewarded, and have patience and ihtisaab [looking to your reward in the hereafter], in being good to your relatives." So I agreed, and we traveled. And on one of the days straight after our travel, he informed me that he would pray two rak`ahs, until the food was prepared, and he continuously prayed from nine in the morning to two in the afternoon. Whenever I opened the door, I would find him praying and crying. Until we heard a bang at the door of the house, and found it was the Intelligence. So I opened the door to his room, and informed him that the Intelligence were there, and that he should finish his prayer and see them. And he did just that. They tried to take him with them, but he asked them to leave him until he could make ghusl. He then asked me extensively for a mushaf [copy of the Qur'aan], but I did not have except the one which I had written a small message to Ahmad [the son] and was going to give him as a present. So he promised me that it would return to me even if it had to go to Mars and back, so I gave it to him.
Then the oppression of the regime began to increase in harshness. For after I had been transferred from a headmistress to a teacher, then from one province to another, then from normal teaching to special needs, in his first period of imprisonment, the Intelligence started their campaign to imprison me. Until eventually, they achieved what they wanted and I was imprisoned for six months in Al-Qanaatir prison, which I spent in constant nazeef [bleeding], until I had an operation to remove my womb after that. And so, I did not attend except the sentencing. When he saw me in my weak state, he informed me that he did not know of my imprisonment, until the dogs had ripped his clothes, and he had sent for clothes from the house, and so Ahmad gave the guard old clothes so that they would not steal the new clothes. And when he saw them, he knew that I was not in the house.
One painful situation was when my sister bore a daughter, and (my son) Ahmad asked me to have for him a sister, and he would nag and cry, so I said: "Your father has to be here," and when we went to visit his father, he kept crying and pulling him saying: "Come with me father to the house, and mum can have a sister for me. Who is stopping you? Him?" and he pointed to the guard, "Don't be scared of him, I will hit him, and you come with me," until he made me cry, and made the guards cry.
The Moments of Farewell
Describe to us the final moments of your farewell. how were they?
They asked us to pay the final visit to him, before the carrying out of the sentence, so I took Ahmad and Sumayyah with me. I prepared for him good food, and we went to see him, but they refused to let me take the food it. They kept taking us into a tent to wait for him some time, then taking us to another, until we had been into four tents, and in the end the guards brought him, dragging him in a derogatory manner, and 'threw' him in front of us inside the tent. And Muhammad would say: "I don't know what to be regretful over? They want me to put forward an apology and regret over what I have done, but what have I done to be regretful over?"
And when I asked the officer to bring in the food, and he refused, Muhammad said to me: "Don't tire yourself, and waste the time that we can spend together. If they bring the food in, then they will insist that I eat now, and I am fasting." Ahmad went and sat on his fathers lap and kept crying saying: "The boys keep saying to me, you whose father wanted to kill Abdul-Nasser". So the shaheed replied to him: "The scales today are reversed, and they will not be corrected today, indeed: {We Shall set up the Scales of Justice for the Day of Judgment}."
He advised me to do good with the children, and I advised him to do good with himself, and the visit ended. On the morning of 29th of August 1966, at [number missing] in the morning, the radio broadcast the news that the sentence had been carried out on the three martyrs. And I was preparing breakfast at the time, so I kept saying [Inna lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji`oon - To Allah we belong, and to Allah we will return], and seeking forgiveness, with my tears not stopping, while no-one was aware of my situation. The murderers were not content with this, and sent for me, and made me sign acceptance that there would not be a janaazah for him, and they gave me his things but Ahmad's mushaf (copy of the Qur'an) was not amongst them.
The Manners of the Shaheed
This great faithfulness to the shaheed and his da`wah. How did it grow in you and what were its reasons?
He (may Allah have mercy on him), was of kind manners. One of his most important attributes was his generosity. The helper who used to work for him once complained to me after the `aqd, that he did not eat from the food that she would prepare, because his house was always open to the brothers who were students, away from home or in hardship. Whether he was there or not, they would come in and eat, wear whatever of his clothes they wished and sometimes take his money, then he would come back and eat cheese and halaawah from the grocers.
Similarly ithaar [preference of others]. He would not accept at all that there could be a misunderstanding between him and his brothers. Just as he was clean in body and manners. He would make ghusl more than five times a day apart from wudoo'.
The Spring of Imaan
Your relationship with the shaheed husband strengthened despite the short time you spent together, so how did you discover these good characteristics in him?
His letters from prison were tarbiyah lessons in `aqeedah, imaan, patience, and steadfastness. They were a provision for me on this path, and here are some examples:
In `eed-ul-fitr he sent to me saying:
"`Eed would come to the sahaabah, and the honourable of them had been martyred, the loved of them had been lost, and they would have been tested in their spouses, parents and children. But all of this would not dampen the happiness of `eed in their souls. In fact this was the real meaning of `eed, effort, work, and sacrifice. So we, with what we are in, are the most rightful of people to celebrate `eed, and the most real in our happiness for what Allah has given us, and for our knowing Him. And to have thankfulness to Allah for it, on this great day. We now taste this deen, and feel it, and we find it in our khalajaat, fresh and soft just like the day it was revealed, alive and beating in our hearts and our blood mixing with it."
Just as he was gentle in feelings, he would place his hand on the place of pain, and would nurse it with softness, and gentle medicine. He says in another letter;
"It is hard on me, while I spend these moments with you, to see on you the signs of struggle and the indications of tiredness, and it is as if the journey has been long, and the hardships heavy. And I do not deny the hardships on this path, and I do not claim that I do not feel its difficulty, for indeed I am a weak human. Except that I feel, and I would like you to feel with me, that on either side of this long path, are oases with shade, that passers-by can relax in, if they tire, and in whose shade travelers can rest whenever the toils of travel take their toll. So would you like that we turn to one of these oases, perhaps we may find in it cool and calm? Then we can take from it water and food, which will help us continue our journey, and finish our travel?"
And here is what he wrote in a copy of the book of Allah which he gave to me as a present:
"In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful,
To you.
To you my wife.
To you oh sister in creed.
To you oh partner in jihad.
To you oh calmness of the soul and mother of the child.
To you oh flower of the heart. To you this great book, upon whose law Allah brought us together as spouses, through which He gathered us as brothers, and in whose path He made us in the ranks of the believers two soldiers.
To you my beloved this grand book, in appreciation, love and faithfulness from your husband. Lest Allah may bring me back to you, and gather us under His aim.
And peace be upon you, and mercy from Allah, and His blessings, and all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
12th Shawwaal 1383
Autumn and the End of the Allotted Time
Aside from these gentle letters, did you hear anything about his life in prison?
Yes, I heard a lot from his brothers speaking about him. One of the brothers had asked him which season as his favorite, and he replied: "Autumn, as the falling of the leaves reminds me of the end of one's allotted time."
He also saw the Prophet (s) more that once, and Yusuf (as) and `Eesaa (as), and he would have true visions. He informed one of his brothers that once in a moment of unonciousness during his sujood during the night, that the cells were opened for them to leave and men from the Intelligence was put in them, and this happened after 1967.
And he saw himself with a group of the sahaabah, giving bay`ah to the Prophet (s), and when his turn came, to give bay`ah, he said: "Oh Messenger of Allah, have we changed things after you? Have we replaced things after you?" So he replied: "No, but you are trustworthy, trustworthy, trustworthy."
His brothers say that if he would become very tired in the queues he would say: "Yes my Lord, how gentle you are." And if they spoke about torture in front of him, he would reply: {Say: Allah, then leave them in their wasteful discourse and trifling} (Al-An`aam:91)
And if they discussed with him the expectations of sentences, he would say: "Indeed these do not judge, and for Allah is judgment, and Allah does not judge except by the truth and those who they call upon beside him, do not judge by anything. What are we and they while in the qabd [grasp] of Allah like an atom? If Allah sees us as worthy of martyrdom, He will choose us for it, and if not, then Allah's qadar will pass us and them."
Visions of Him After His death
We spoke about his visions, so what of your visions of him?
After his martyrdom, I saw myself in the village in which his sister lives, standing behind her house and in front of me, the field extending with no end, as if I was lost. Then a great bird came over the fields, and it was huge in size, then I saw it again, standing on a pole that reached into the sky, and between its feet, my son Ahmad, standing, and pointing me to a path, the end of which I could not see. On it were marching lines of the Ikhwaan, so I went to look at the situation, and I saw the moon, extremely huge, and very bright, at the end of this path.
And after his martyrdom also, his father went to Hajj, and when he returned, I called him to come and lighten the sadness of the children because of the leaving of their father, and I called his other children and grandchildren. But I found him completely ignoring my children and taking interest in the others, and I saw the sadness on the face of my daughter Sumayyah, and I was depressed and unhappy all day. So I slept while I was sad for her, then I saw the shaheed Muhammad bend over next to the bed and say: "Don't be sad, I accept your right."
The Will of a Shaheed
You said that Ahmad's mushaf (copy of the Qur'an) has a story so what is it?
When they imprisoned him in 1965, and he took the mushaf with him, I did not find it in the belongings after his martyrdom. And after twenty years, while we were in Madeenah, in the house of my daughter and her husband, I saw it on the shelves, so I asked my daughter's husband where he got this mushaf from so he said that during his being in the haram, a woman heard his brothers calling him, so she went to him, and said: "Are you so and so?", to which he replied in the affirmative. Then the woman said: "Then wait for me and do not leave until I give you a trust." Then she informed him that her husband had given her this mushaf that he had taken from the shaheed and told her to take it to his relatives. And that this mushaf had been to France, London and Saudi Arabia, until it eventually reached us 20 years later. And I do not think except that Allah has fulfilled the promise of the shaheed.
If I asked you to send him a letter today, what would you say?
I pray to Allah that I am still upon the covenant, and have not changed after you, and that you are now in the levels (of Paradise) of the shuhadaa' and sideeqeen, and that Allah gathers me with you: {They and their wives in groves of shade, reclining on thrones} (Yaa-Seen:56)
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