THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY:
1. Engagement or Mangni: Does not qualify the future spouses to go out together, even if the parents consent. Man and woman become permissible for each other only after the performance of Nikah.
2. Dowry: The unislamic system of demanding and accepting dowry must be avoided at all costs. Shariah does not make any expense incumbent on the bride/bride's parents. Even the marriage expenses, it is recommended to be borne by the bridegroom. However, the bride can bring whatever she wants of her free will, and it will always belong to her.
3. Other Unislamic Customs: Many other unislamic customs have crept into the marriage ceremony of some Muslims. These customs are either borrowed from non-Muslim cultures or continue because they are established in past generations. One must avoid them if they are against the Shariah, even if some people are displeased. Other customs like the breaking of coconut etc. also do not feature among the Islamic rituals. All actions, customs etc., which show disrespect to Islam or weaken the importance of Islam, have to be avoided.
4. Haraam Acts: Some of the rituals in marriage ceremonies are absolutely Haraam like the playing of music. It is also Haraam for ladies to go for mixed gatherings without proper Hijab. Such things invite divine wrath and take away the blessings of this auspicious occasion. In the Islamic Law, marriage is an Aqd, a contract. The components of this contract are as follows:
A. Proposal: In Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand in marriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considers this natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignity for women.
B. Mahr: And the intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride. Holy Quran says, And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result. (Surah Nisa 4:4)
The following points are worthy of consideration:
a) Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves, not by parents.
b) Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.
c) It is a free gift and not her price.
The Mahr may be cash, kind or non-material (like training or teaching something). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to pay upon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage. Moajjal (immediate), Muwajjal and Indat-talab (on demand). However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time of Nikah itself.
C. The Nikah Ceremony: According to Shariah, the wife-to-be says, 'An Kah'tu nafsaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom'. ("I have given away myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr.")
Immediately, the man (bridegroom) says, 'Qabiltun Nikaha'. ("I have accepted the Nikah.")
With these pronouncements, they become husband and wife.
If the marrying partners are not able to recite the formula in Arabic, one or two persons or priests are appointed and authorized to officiate. One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent to officiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of the groom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements, because the persons reciting them are appointees. A person who represents the bride would initiate by saying, "Ankah'tu muwakkilati muwakkilaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom." ("I give away in Nikah the woman who has thus appointed and authorized me, to the man who has authorized you, on an agreed Mahr.")
The groom's representative would respond, "Qabiltunnikaaha limuwakkili a'lal mah'ril ma'loom." ("I accept the Nikah on behalf of the one who has appointed me, on the agreed Mahr.")
It is mustahab to recite a brief discourse or Khutba before the Nikah formula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for His Wisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditions from Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) are also recited.
D. Time of Marriage Ceremony: Though basically marriage is allowed at all times, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons.
Generally, we can categorize these days into three: (a) There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. (b) There are certain days of the Islamic calendar, which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of Holy Prophet Muhammad's (s.a.w.) death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such days.
Shia Ithna Ashari (Twelver Shias), especially in India and Pakistan, rarely perform marriage ceremony between the 1st of Muharram and the 8th of Rabi al-Awwal as this period includes the mourning days of Muharram culminating in the martyrdom of Imam Askari (a.s.). The 9th Rabi al-Awwal is celebrated as Eid-e-Zahra.
If there is a need, however, Nikah, can be performed at any time.
E. Permission of the Bride-to-be/Father: The girl's consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative, directly.
In case of a virgin/spinster the father's or the grandfather's permission is also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheld under some conditions or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather it is not necessary. However, a woman who is not a virgin, does not require any permission in case of remarriage.
F. Valima (Dinner): Valima is highly recommended on the groom. The relatives, neighbors and friends must be invited for Valima. However, lavish spending is not advisable especially when the same money can be used effectively by the couple.
Monday, 14 March 2011
SELECTION OF SPOUSE:
SELECTION OF SPOUSE:
Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded to marriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, "How do we select a spouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view?"
Are Pre-Marital contacts Necessary?
Ali Akber Mazaheri writes: "The notion that a man and a woman must 'know' each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies, which practice it, would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily."
The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as Gheebat under certain conditions). We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process. Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage.
The school of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness.
A. Religiousness: The author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, "The person who does not have religion, does not have anything."
When a man came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse. He (s.a.w.) said, "It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse."
Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has forewarned, "A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness)."
B. Good nature: Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if it was advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature, "If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don't marry your daughter to him." The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such a woman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life of her husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties that arise in married life.
C. Compatibility: Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivings later. It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.
A man questioned Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), "Whom must we marry?"
He replied, "The suitable (matches)."
"Who are the suitable matches?"
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) responded, "Some of the faithful are match for others."
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, "An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man."
D. Decent Family: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has given great emphasis on taking into consideration a good family background when we intend to marry.
He said, "Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and the genes have effect."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Look very carefully and minutely as to where you are placing your child because genes and hereditary qualities are transferred in a concealed and unintentional way and have their effect."
E. Reason: The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s.) strongly forbade marrying a foolish and insane person. "Avoid marrying a stupid woman, since her company is a woe (distress) and her children too get wasted."
F. Physical and Mental Health: Though religiousness and piety are most important, it does not mean that we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospective spouse.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women)."
G. Whom can you marry? "Islamic law has placed certain restrictions on the choice of your spouse depending upon blood relationships and religious affiliations." Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi has summarized these laws in a beautiful way:
(a) Restrictions based on Relationship
There are certain blood relations, which are considered Haraam for you as far as marriage is concerned. (As a general rule, anyone who is your Mahram is forbidden to you for marriage.) The list of such relatives is given in the Holy Qur'an as follows:
For Man: mother, daughter, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, niece, foster-mother, foster-sister, mother-in-law, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, all married women, sister-in-law (as a 2nd wife) (See Holy Qur'an, ch. 4, verse 23-24)
For Woman: father, son, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, nephew, foster-mother's husband, foster-brother, father-in-law, stepson, son-in-law.
(b) Restrictions based on Religion
A Shi'ah Muslim man can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman and a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. However, if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam.
He can also marry a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. But he cannot marry a woman of any other faith.
A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.
(c) Cousin Marriages
Though Shariah does not forbid marriage between first cousins, but there are opinions advocating against them mainly due to a probable risk of the offspring inheriting genetic defects/diseases.
Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded to marriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, "How do we select a spouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Do we look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best from the worldly point of view?"
Are Pre-Marital contacts Necessary?
Ali Akber Mazaheri writes: "The notion that a man and a woman must 'know' each other before they decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily together is an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity in this, the divorce and separation rates in societies, which practice it, would not have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take place without such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to last happily."
The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for the purpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions if asked (without it being considered as Gheebat under certain conditions). We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defect during the selection process. Such things can have serious ramifications if exposed after marriage.
The school of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) has not left us to follow our whims and fancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitable spouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness.
A. Religiousness: The author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, "The person who does not have religion, does not have anything."
When a man came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse. He (s.a.w.) said, "It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse."
Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has forewarned, "A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness)."
B. Good nature: Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if it was advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature, "If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don't marry your daughter to him." The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such a woman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life of her husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties that arise in married life.
C. Compatibility: Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivings later. It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.
A man questioned Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), "Whom must we marry?"
He replied, "The suitable (matches)."
"Who are the suitable matches?"
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) responded, "Some of the faithful are match for others."
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, "An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man."
D. Decent Family: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has given great emphasis on taking into consideration a good family background when we intend to marry.
He said, "Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and the genes have effect."
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Look very carefully and minutely as to where you are placing your child because genes and hereditary qualities are transferred in a concealed and unintentional way and have their effect."
E. Reason: The Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (a.s.) strongly forbade marrying a foolish and insane person. "Avoid marrying a stupid woman, since her company is a woe (distress) and her children too get wasted."
F. Physical and Mental Health: Though religiousness and piety are most important, it does not mean that we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospective spouse.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women)."
G. Whom can you marry? "Islamic law has placed certain restrictions on the choice of your spouse depending upon blood relationships and religious affiliations." Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi has summarized these laws in a beautiful way:
(a) Restrictions based on Relationship
There are certain blood relations, which are considered Haraam for you as far as marriage is concerned. (As a general rule, anyone who is your Mahram is forbidden to you for marriage.) The list of such relatives is given in the Holy Qur'an as follows:
For Man: mother, daughter, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, niece, foster-mother, foster-sister, mother-in-law, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, all married women, sister-in-law (as a 2nd wife) (See Holy Qur'an, ch. 4, verse 23-24)
For Woman: father, son, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, nephew, foster-mother's husband, foster-brother, father-in-law, stepson, son-in-law.
(b) Restrictions based on Religion
A Shi'ah Muslim man can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman and a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. However, if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam.
He can also marry a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. But he cannot marry a woman of any other faith.
A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is Haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.
(c) Cousin Marriages
Though Shariah does not forbid marriage between first cousins, but there are opinions advocating against them mainly due to a probable risk of the offspring inheriting genetic defects/diseases.
WHEN MUST WE MARRY?
WHEN MUST WE MARRY?
The proper time and age of marrying is when the individual reaches sexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity may mean the capability of establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights of family members.
The need of a spouse and family is a natural and instinctive need, which Allah (SWT) through His Wisdom has placed in human beings and is awakened at its particular time and season, and makes its demand. If it is answered on time and its requirement fulfilled, it traverses its natural course and makes the person perfect. If it is delayed or answered in an incorrect and unnatural mode, it deviates from its natural course, and in surges and rebels, and not only becomes corrupt itself, but also corrupts the man.
Who is eligible to marry?
For man to become eligible for taking a woman's hand in marriage, Islam has several recommendations. According to Islamic laws, when a boy attains the age of fifteen, or becomes sexually potent, he is Baligh, and has attained puberty. But this is not enough for entering into a contract of marriage (Nikaah).
Apart from the laws related to puberty, there is a concept of Rushd which can be translated as 'capability of a sensible conduct' or maturity. A husband has to be Rashid and a wife Rashidah; so that the responsibilities of married life are sensibly discharged. Books of Islamic law may be referred for exact details on physical and mental maturity.
Recommendation for Early Marriage (Nikah).
Islam highly recommends an early marriage. Even those who feel they would not be able to bear the expenses of family are urged to repose faith in Allah, as He is the Giver of Sustenance (Rizq), and go for an early marriage.
The proper time and age of marrying is when the individual reaches sexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity may mean the capability of establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights of family members.
The need of a spouse and family is a natural and instinctive need, which Allah (SWT) through His Wisdom has placed in human beings and is awakened at its particular time and season, and makes its demand. If it is answered on time and its requirement fulfilled, it traverses its natural course and makes the person perfect. If it is delayed or answered in an incorrect and unnatural mode, it deviates from its natural course, and in surges and rebels, and not only becomes corrupt itself, but also corrupts the man.
Who is eligible to marry?
For man to become eligible for taking a woman's hand in marriage, Islam has several recommendations. According to Islamic laws, when a boy attains the age of fifteen, or becomes sexually potent, he is Baligh, and has attained puberty. But this is not enough for entering into a contract of marriage (Nikaah).
Apart from the laws related to puberty, there is a concept of Rushd which can be translated as 'capability of a sensible conduct' or maturity. A husband has to be Rashid and a wife Rashidah; so that the responsibilities of married life are sensibly discharged. Books of Islamic law may be referred for exact details on physical and mental maturity.
Recommendation for Early Marriage (Nikah).
Islam highly recommends an early marriage. Even those who feel they would not be able to bear the expenses of family are urged to repose faith in Allah, as He is the Giver of Sustenance (Rizq), and go for an early marriage.
02. IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:
02. IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:
Holy Quran says: And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Surah Nur 24:32)
The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry ...) The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."
On another occasion Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors."
Imam Ali (a.s.) exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."
A. Importance of sex in marriage.
In Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term for marriage, "Nikah" literally means sexual intercourse. So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regarding sex? This was because Islam has fully understood that sexual instincts cannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for the well being of human beings in this life and for their success in the hereafter.
Sex in married life has been openly recommended in Holy Qur'an, "When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (Surah Baqarah 2:222)
B. Fulfillment of Sexual Urge.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."
Imam Reza (a.s.) said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visiting one's wife."
C. Celibacy and Monasticism is Forbidden.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). One day his wife came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and complained, "O Messenger of God! Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during the night as well as the day. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) was angered. He did not even wait to put on his slippers. He went to Uthman's house and found him praying. When Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), he said, "O Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions."
D. Beneficial Effects of a Married Life.
Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.
Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half." How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.
E. Marriage (Nikaah) enhances the value of prayers.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." A woman came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse, which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins."
F. Marriage (Nikah) increases Sustenance.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) remarked, "Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah (SWT) makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values)."
Holy Quran says: And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Surah Nur 24:32)
The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry ...) The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."
On another occasion Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors."
Imam Ali (a.s.) exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)." Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."
A. Importance of sex in marriage.
In Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term for marriage, "Nikah" literally means sexual intercourse. So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regarding sex? This was because Islam has fully understood that sexual instincts cannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for the well being of human beings in this life and for their success in the hereafter.
Sex in married life has been openly recommended in Holy Qur'an, "When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (Surah Baqarah 2:222)
B. Fulfillment of Sexual Urge.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."
Imam Reza (a.s.) said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visiting one's wife."
C. Celibacy and Monasticism is Forbidden.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). One day his wife came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and complained, "O Messenger of God! Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during the night as well as the day. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) was angered. He did not even wait to put on his slippers. He went to Uthman's house and found him praying. When Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), he said, "O Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions."
D. Beneficial Effects of a Married Life.
Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.
Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half." How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.
E. Marriage (Nikaah) enhances the value of prayers.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." A woman came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her. Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse, which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins."
F. Marriage (Nikah) increases Sustenance.
Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) remarked, "Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah (SWT) makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values)."
Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide
Islamic Marriage (Nikaah) Handbook for Young Muslims, Muslim Wedding and Marriage Guide
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) says: When a person intends to send a proposal for marriage, he must pray two Rakat prayers, praise Allah (SWT) and recite the following invocation:
Transliteration: Bismillah hir Rah'maanir Rah'eem.
Allaahumma inni oreedo an atazawwaja faqaddirli minannisaa-e- a-'affahunna farjawn wa ah'faz'ahunna li fi nafseha wa maali wa aw sa-a'-hunna li rizqan wa a'-z'amahunna li barakatan fi nafseha wa maali anna atroko faqaddirli minha waladan t'ayyaban taj-a'lahu khalafan s'aaleh'an fi h'ayaati wa ba'da mauti.
Translation: In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful.
O Allah! I intend to marry. Therefore destine for me the most chaste of women and one who would, for my sake, guard herself and my property. Who shall be most auspicious for increase in sustenance and bounties. Then from her womb bestow a pure son who would be my sweet reminiscence in my life and after my death.
01. INTRODUCTION:
A. Who needs this book?
This book is compiled for those intending to marry in the near future or the newly married people. In this short Nikaah Handbook we have tried to put things in a nutshell. It is recommended to do a detailed reading of other books on Marriage, references of which are given at the end of this Nikah Handbook.
B. Why do we need to know the rules?
It is the duty of every Muslim to follow the Islamic laws not only in matters of prayers and fasting but also in all his actions. Islam has well defined rules about marriage and sex too. So if you want to follow Islam fully, then you must know the Islamic rules and regulations governing married life. Islam has never repressed the natural feelings of human beings but provides rules, which are divine.
This will not only enable you to be faithful to your religion but would also shield you from the barrage of Sex literature that portrays this natural instinct as one that must be left uncontrolled. Western sexual morality permits many things that are prohibited in Islam. The reason for the prohibition of certain actions is not to act as an infringement of an individual's freedom but because Islam is concerned not only with your physical well being but also your spiritual enhancement. Moreover, we can see the degradation of society where absolute sexual freedom prevails.
C. Main Objective of the Nikah Handbook.
The commencement of a new life takes place through marriage. If Islamic rules are known and followed, the child born will be chaste. Insha Allah, our progeny can then be capable of being the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his holy Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) followers.
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) says: When a person intends to send a proposal for marriage, he must pray two Rakat prayers, praise Allah (SWT) and recite the following invocation:
Transliteration: Bismillah hir Rah'maanir Rah'eem.
Allaahumma inni oreedo an atazawwaja faqaddirli minannisaa-e- a-'affahunna farjawn wa ah'faz'ahunna li fi nafseha wa maali wa aw sa-a'-hunna li rizqan wa a'-z'amahunna li barakatan fi nafseha wa maali anna atroko faqaddirli minha waladan t'ayyaban taj-a'lahu khalafan s'aaleh'an fi h'ayaati wa ba'da mauti.
Translation: In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful.
O Allah! I intend to marry. Therefore destine for me the most chaste of women and one who would, for my sake, guard herself and my property. Who shall be most auspicious for increase in sustenance and bounties. Then from her womb bestow a pure son who would be my sweet reminiscence in my life and after my death.
01. INTRODUCTION:
A. Who needs this book?
This book is compiled for those intending to marry in the near future or the newly married people. In this short Nikaah Handbook we have tried to put things in a nutshell. It is recommended to do a detailed reading of other books on Marriage, references of which are given at the end of this Nikah Handbook.
B. Why do we need to know the rules?
It is the duty of every Muslim to follow the Islamic laws not only in matters of prayers and fasting but also in all his actions. Islam has well defined rules about marriage and sex too. So if you want to follow Islam fully, then you must know the Islamic rules and regulations governing married life. Islam has never repressed the natural feelings of human beings but provides rules, which are divine.
This will not only enable you to be faithful to your religion but would also shield you from the barrage of Sex literature that portrays this natural instinct as one that must be left uncontrolled. Western sexual morality permits many things that are prohibited in Islam. The reason for the prohibition of certain actions is not to act as an infringement of an individual's freedom but because Islam is concerned not only with your physical well being but also your spiritual enhancement. Moreover, we can see the degradation of society where absolute sexual freedom prevails.
C. Main Objective of the Nikah Handbook.
The commencement of a new life takes place through marriage. If Islamic rules are known and followed, the child born will be chaste. Insha Allah, our progeny can then be capable of being the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his holy Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) followers.
Philosophy of marriages of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), Muslim Marriage
Philosophy of marriages of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), Muslim Marriage
In the early part of eighteenth century, the Christian writers started with new tactics of attacking Islam. They aimed, through publications full of lies and slanders, at diverting attention from the noble framework of Islam and degrading the exalted person of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (May peace be on him and his progeny).
The basis of that adverse propaganda was the books written by Christian writers of the fifteenth century. A writer had written a book under the title 'Refutation to the Religion of Muhammad', which became the source of later writers against Islam. These writers were unacquainted with the real facts about Islam, due to their ignorance of the Arabic language in which Islamic history and holy books were then available.
It is not strange, therefore, to see them writing against the Prophet of Islam, accusing him of lust because he had married a number of wives, whilst other Muslims were restricted to a maximum of four at a time. (They perhaps forgot that the writers of the present Bible have openly accused their own Prophets of having committed adultery!)
Of course, by misinforming their Christian brothers, and slandering the Prophet of Islam, they hoped to cause a set-back in the fast progress of Islam. But these tactics did not succeed much. We find a number of learned and fair-minded Christian writers defending the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) against such slanders, in apologetic language.
Undoubtedly these stories of slanders are totally unacceptable to the Muslims, since part of their faith is to believe in the infallibility (Ismat or Sinless ness) of the Prophets.
But at the same time it is imperative to acquaint the non-Muslims with the true facts.
Verdict of history:
Unbiased historians, both Muslims and Christians, are agreed that the number of marriages contracted by the Prophet of Islam was not as a result of lust or to satisfy the sexual desires. If this had been the case, he would not have married the twice-widowed Khadijah, 40 years old, at the youthful age of 25 when one is full of emotion and sexual urge.
Prophet Mubammad (s.a.w.) lived together with his first (and, at that time, only) wife, Khadijah, happily for 26 years with great mutual affection, despite the fact that young and beautiful girls of Arabia were easily available to him and were keen to be married to the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Not even once, during that period, did the Prophet Muhammad (saw) take another wife. Undoubtedly he would have at least considered another younger wife simultaneously with Khadijah if he ever suffered from lust and fondness of young women, particularly when the country's customs wholly approved unlimited marriages.
Critics Dumbfounded:
Let us look at the life history of the Prophet of Islam. During the prime of his life, he remains satisfied with an aged and twice-widowed wife, and does not even think of another. Then during the last ten years of his life, after passing the age of fifty, in his old age, when he is surrounded by various difficult problems of the newly-born Islamic State, he starts marrying a number of wives.
Ask these Christian writers why this phenomenon?
What logical answer can these critics give to this amazing question?
Was it not a difficult exercise and heavy burden to marry widows and support their orphans? Was it easy for a perfectly dignified man in the person of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to marry women of different outlook, characters and tribes, including some of much younger age who were still unaware of the full responsibilities of life?
Let us ponder over the reply to these questions as given by a famous western historian, Thomas Carlyle in his book "Heroes and Heroes Worship". He says in effect that contrary to what his enemies accuse him, Muhammad was never lusty and sexualize and that it was a slander only out of prejudice against him and this indeed is a great injustice.
John Devenport says, "and it may then be asked, is it likely that a very sensual man, of a country where polygamy was a common practice, should be contented for five-and-twenty years with one wife, she being fifteen years older than himself".
List of wives of the prophet of Islam:
After the death of his first wife, Khadijah, he married upto twelve wives in the following order:
Sawdah
A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq (first Caliph)
Umm Salamah
Hafsah bint Omer Farooq (second Caliph)
Zaynab bint-Khuzaymah
Zaynab bint-Jahsh
Umm-Habibah (Ramla) bint Abu Sufyan
Maymunah
Zaynab bint-Umais
Juwayriyah
Safiyah
Khawlah bint-Hakim
Let us examine the circumstances and conditions under which these marriages had taken place.
In principle, it can be stated that the marriages were contracted with one or more of the following objectives:
(1) For the sake of caring for the orphans and looking after the poor widows. These were some Muslim women who had earlier enjoyed high dignity in the Arab society. But on the death of their husbands, their status and even faith were in jeopardy, because their tribal chiefs would take them back and compel them to renounce Islam, thus converting them back to polytheism.
For example, Sawdah had migrated to Abyssinia where her husband died, and she became absolutely without helper. It was the time when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had lost Khadijah, his first wife; so he married Sawdah.
Likewise, Zaynab daughter of Khuzaymah, was an old-aged widow, who after the death of her husband was inflicted with poverty, despite her being amiable and being known as 'Ummul-Masakin' (Mother of the poor). Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to uphold her dignity and she died of old age only after two years of that marriage.
(2) For the sake of enacting a new law and eradicating injustice by the ignorant tribes. For example, Zaynab bint-Jahsh was the daughter of the Prophet's aunt. She was married, at the recommendation of the Prophet, to Zayd ibn-Harithah, the freed slave and adopted son of the Prophet. This marriage was contracted to eradicate the discrimination against slaves and poor and to emphasize the Islamic equality and brotherhood, as Zaynab was from the family of Abd al-Muttalib, the grandfather of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and the Chief of Quraysh, whereas Zayd was a slave who was freed by the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Unfortunately, Zaynab due to her family pride, did not get along well with Zayd despite Prophet's persuasions. The rift between the two culminated into divorce. Meanwhile, the system of adoption of children was expressly forbidden by Allah (SWT). So, when Zayd divorced Zaynab, the Prophet of Islam, at the express command of God, married Zaynab; and, thus, put an end to the then prevalent belief that adopted sons were like real sons and that wives or widows of adopted sons were like daughters-in-laws.
(3) For the sake of freeing prisoners and slaves. For example, 'Juwayriyah' was from a prominent tribe of Banul-Mustalaq. In a war against Islam this tribe was defeated; and Juwayriyah, the daughter of their Chief, was held in captivity. Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to set an example of protection and good treatment to prisoners of war.
On seeing that the prisoners had become relatives of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) by marriage, the Muslims released all the prisoners of war held by them. According to Ibne Hisham, over one hundred families of Banul-Mustalaq were freed from captivity as a result of this marriage.
(4) For the sake of uniting some prominent Arab tribes who often were at logger heads with each other and to safeguard the internal political status of Islam.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) married A'ishah daughter of Abu Bakr Siddiq (first caliph) from the tribe of Bani Tim, Hafsah daughter of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (second caliph) from the tribe of Adi, Umm-Habibah daughter of Abu Sufyan from the tribe of Umayyah, Safiyah daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab of the Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir, and Maymunah from the tribe of Bani Makhzum.
Umm-Habibah (i.e. Ramla) was daughter of Abu Sufyan of Bani Umayyah who was the bitterest enemy of Prophet Muhammad (saw) and had repeatedly fought against him. She, as a Muslim, was in great distress since she was divorced from her original husband (who had become a Christian in Abyssinia) and her father was a great enemy of Islam.
Seeing her deprived of every help from parent and divorced from husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in sympathy. This marriage also gave a chance to the people of Bani Umayyah to soften their hearts for Islam.
Safiyah was widowed daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab, one of the chiefs of Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir. When the prisoners of this tribe were released by the Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in order to safeguard her status; and, thus, also linking himself with one of the great Jewish tribes of that time, and paving the way for them to come nearer to Islam.
Maymunah was 51 years of age and from a prominent tribe of Bani Makhzum whom Prophet Muhammad (saw) married in the year 7 after Hijrah.
The above marital history of Prophet Muhammad (saw) clearly shows the noble aim and objectives for which he married a number of wives. It is not difficult to see that none of these marriages was for personal satisfaction of sexual desires as unjustifiably accused by the Christian writers. Also, it is important to remember that all of these marriages, except that with A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq, were contracted with women who were widowed not only once, but often twice or thrice.
In the early part of eighteenth century, the Christian writers started with new tactics of attacking Islam. They aimed, through publications full of lies and slanders, at diverting attention from the noble framework of Islam and degrading the exalted person of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (May peace be on him and his progeny).
The basis of that adverse propaganda was the books written by Christian writers of the fifteenth century. A writer had written a book under the title 'Refutation to the Religion of Muhammad', which became the source of later writers against Islam. These writers were unacquainted with the real facts about Islam, due to their ignorance of the Arabic language in which Islamic history and holy books were then available.
It is not strange, therefore, to see them writing against the Prophet of Islam, accusing him of lust because he had married a number of wives, whilst other Muslims were restricted to a maximum of four at a time. (They perhaps forgot that the writers of the present Bible have openly accused their own Prophets of having committed adultery!)
Of course, by misinforming their Christian brothers, and slandering the Prophet of Islam, they hoped to cause a set-back in the fast progress of Islam. But these tactics did not succeed much. We find a number of learned and fair-minded Christian writers defending the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) against such slanders, in apologetic language.
Undoubtedly these stories of slanders are totally unacceptable to the Muslims, since part of their faith is to believe in the infallibility (Ismat or Sinless ness) of the Prophets.
But at the same time it is imperative to acquaint the non-Muslims with the true facts.
Verdict of history:
Unbiased historians, both Muslims and Christians, are agreed that the number of marriages contracted by the Prophet of Islam was not as a result of lust or to satisfy the sexual desires. If this had been the case, he would not have married the twice-widowed Khadijah, 40 years old, at the youthful age of 25 when one is full of emotion and sexual urge.
Prophet Mubammad (s.a.w.) lived together with his first (and, at that time, only) wife, Khadijah, happily for 26 years with great mutual affection, despite the fact that young and beautiful girls of Arabia were easily available to him and were keen to be married to the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Not even once, during that period, did the Prophet Muhammad (saw) take another wife. Undoubtedly he would have at least considered another younger wife simultaneously with Khadijah if he ever suffered from lust and fondness of young women, particularly when the country's customs wholly approved unlimited marriages.
Critics Dumbfounded:
Let us look at the life history of the Prophet of Islam. During the prime of his life, he remains satisfied with an aged and twice-widowed wife, and does not even think of another. Then during the last ten years of his life, after passing the age of fifty, in his old age, when he is surrounded by various difficult problems of the newly-born Islamic State, he starts marrying a number of wives.
Ask these Christian writers why this phenomenon?
What logical answer can these critics give to this amazing question?
Was it not a difficult exercise and heavy burden to marry widows and support their orphans? Was it easy for a perfectly dignified man in the person of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to marry women of different outlook, characters and tribes, including some of much younger age who were still unaware of the full responsibilities of life?
Let us ponder over the reply to these questions as given by a famous western historian, Thomas Carlyle in his book "Heroes and Heroes Worship". He says in effect that contrary to what his enemies accuse him, Muhammad was never lusty and sexualize and that it was a slander only out of prejudice against him and this indeed is a great injustice.
John Devenport says, "and it may then be asked, is it likely that a very sensual man, of a country where polygamy was a common practice, should be contented for five-and-twenty years with one wife, she being fifteen years older than himself".
List of wives of the prophet of Islam:
After the death of his first wife, Khadijah, he married upto twelve wives in the following order:
Sawdah
A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq (first Caliph)
Umm Salamah
Hafsah bint Omer Farooq (second Caliph)
Zaynab bint-Khuzaymah
Zaynab bint-Jahsh
Umm-Habibah (Ramla) bint Abu Sufyan
Maymunah
Zaynab bint-Umais
Juwayriyah
Safiyah
Khawlah bint-Hakim
Let us examine the circumstances and conditions under which these marriages had taken place.
In principle, it can be stated that the marriages were contracted with one or more of the following objectives:
(1) For the sake of caring for the orphans and looking after the poor widows. These were some Muslim women who had earlier enjoyed high dignity in the Arab society. But on the death of their husbands, their status and even faith were in jeopardy, because their tribal chiefs would take them back and compel them to renounce Islam, thus converting them back to polytheism.
For example, Sawdah had migrated to Abyssinia where her husband died, and she became absolutely without helper. It was the time when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had lost Khadijah, his first wife; so he married Sawdah.
Likewise, Zaynab daughter of Khuzaymah, was an old-aged widow, who after the death of her husband was inflicted with poverty, despite her being amiable and being known as 'Ummul-Masakin' (Mother of the poor). Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to uphold her dignity and she died of old age only after two years of that marriage.
(2) For the sake of enacting a new law and eradicating injustice by the ignorant tribes. For example, Zaynab bint-Jahsh was the daughter of the Prophet's aunt. She was married, at the recommendation of the Prophet, to Zayd ibn-Harithah, the freed slave and adopted son of the Prophet. This marriage was contracted to eradicate the discrimination against slaves and poor and to emphasize the Islamic equality and brotherhood, as Zaynab was from the family of Abd al-Muttalib, the grandfather of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) and the Chief of Quraysh, whereas Zayd was a slave who was freed by the Prophet Muhammad (saw).
Unfortunately, Zaynab due to her family pride, did not get along well with Zayd despite Prophet's persuasions. The rift between the two culminated into divorce. Meanwhile, the system of adoption of children was expressly forbidden by Allah (SWT). So, when Zayd divorced Zaynab, the Prophet of Islam, at the express command of God, married Zaynab; and, thus, put an end to the then prevalent belief that adopted sons were like real sons and that wives or widows of adopted sons were like daughters-in-laws.
(3) For the sake of freeing prisoners and slaves. For example, 'Juwayriyah' was from a prominent tribe of Banul-Mustalaq. In a war against Islam this tribe was defeated; and Juwayriyah, the daughter of their Chief, was held in captivity. Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her to set an example of protection and good treatment to prisoners of war.
On seeing that the prisoners had become relatives of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) by marriage, the Muslims released all the prisoners of war held by them. According to Ibne Hisham, over one hundred families of Banul-Mustalaq were freed from captivity as a result of this marriage.
(4) For the sake of uniting some prominent Arab tribes who often were at logger heads with each other and to safeguard the internal political status of Islam.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) married A'ishah daughter of Abu Bakr Siddiq (first caliph) from the tribe of Bani Tim, Hafsah daughter of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (second caliph) from the tribe of Adi, Umm-Habibah daughter of Abu Sufyan from the tribe of Umayyah, Safiyah daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab of the Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir, and Maymunah from the tribe of Bani Makhzum.
Umm-Habibah (i.e. Ramla) was daughter of Abu Sufyan of Bani Umayyah who was the bitterest enemy of Prophet Muhammad (saw) and had repeatedly fought against him. She, as a Muslim, was in great distress since she was divorced from her original husband (who had become a Christian in Abyssinia) and her father was a great enemy of Islam.
Seeing her deprived of every help from parent and divorced from husband, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in sympathy. This marriage also gave a chance to the people of Bani Umayyah to soften their hearts for Islam.
Safiyah was widowed daughter of Huaiy bin Akhtab, one of the chiefs of Jewish tribe of Bani an-Nadir. When the prisoners of this tribe were released by the Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (saw) married her in order to safeguard her status; and, thus, also linking himself with one of the great Jewish tribes of that time, and paving the way for them to come nearer to Islam.
Maymunah was 51 years of age and from a prominent tribe of Bani Makhzum whom Prophet Muhammad (saw) married in the year 7 after Hijrah.
The above marital history of Prophet Muhammad (saw) clearly shows the noble aim and objectives for which he married a number of wives. It is not difficult to see that none of these marriages was for personal satisfaction of sexual desires as unjustifiably accused by the Christian writers. Also, it is important to remember that all of these marriages, except that with A'ishah bint Abu Bark Siddiq, were contracted with women who were widowed not only once, but often twice or thrice.
PROPERTIES OF THE BEST WOMEN:
PROPERTIES OF THE BEST WOMEN:
She is content: Such woman is the best one who becomes happy and content when her husband puts a loving glance on her, and when he orders her for something right, she obeys him immediately, and never does any thing against his will. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is a great cook and a good administrator: A woman who cooks neat, clean and delicious food for her husband. Allah has provided great food for such nice wife in paradise. In heaven, she will be asked to drink and eat whatever you wish, as this is the reward for the pain and services which you performed for your husband! - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
The best woman among your women is one who cooks delicious food, spends the money justly and does not waste it. Such women are the workers of Allah, and the workers of Allah never get hopeless and regretful! - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is priceless: A woman doesn't have any price, whether she is good or bad. A good and nice lady can not be measured with money or gold or silver, as she is far more expensive and precious than money or gold. Similarly, a woman with bad character and worst nature can not be compared with sand, as sand is far more higher and good than her. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is loving, caring and patient: Do not you want me to tell you about those ladies who will enter paradise? A woman who is loving and caring to her husband, and gives births to his children and when he gets angry with her, she instantly says My hand is in your hand like she does not get satisfied until her husband becomes happy with her. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is obedient: Lucky and fortunate woman is one who respects her husband and does not give him any pain, hurt or discomfort and does not makes him worried and obeys him in all the right aspects of life. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She does Jehaad: The Jehaad of woman is that she must not lose her patience if she gets hurt from her husband. Her patience is her Jehaad. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is content: Such woman is the best one who becomes happy and content when her husband puts a loving glance on her, and when he orders her for something right, she obeys him immediately, and never does any thing against his will. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is a great cook and a good administrator: A woman who cooks neat, clean and delicious food for her husband. Allah has provided great food for such nice wife in paradise. In heaven, she will be asked to drink and eat whatever you wish, as this is the reward for the pain and services which you performed for your husband! - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
The best woman among your women is one who cooks delicious food, spends the money justly and does not waste it. Such women are the workers of Allah, and the workers of Allah never get hopeless and regretful! - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is priceless: A woman doesn't have any price, whether she is good or bad. A good and nice lady can not be measured with money or gold or silver, as she is far more expensive and precious than money or gold. Similarly, a woman with bad character and worst nature can not be compared with sand, as sand is far more higher and good than her. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She is loving, caring and patient: Do not you want me to tell you about those ladies who will enter paradise? A woman who is loving and caring to her husband, and gives births to his children and when he gets angry with her, she instantly says My hand is in your hand like she does not get satisfied until her husband becomes happy with her. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
She is obedient: Lucky and fortunate woman is one who respects her husband and does not give him any pain, hurt or discomfort and does not makes him worried and obeys him in all the right aspects of life. - Imam Jafer-e-Sadiq (as)
She does Jehaad: The Jehaad of woman is that she must not lose her patience if she gets hurt from her husband. Her patience is her Jehaad. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)
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